Vote For Me!

I am up for winning “Bloggin Hottie of the Month” for November. You have to cast your vote today at:

http://blognhotties.blogspot.com/

I'm MELMAR #22

Help a sista win some pointless poll, if only for just mere bragging rights. Besides it was my Birthday this month!

Please and thank you!

Yawn...

Hope everyone's holiday was satisfying & safe. Ours was the standard family food gathering. Good eats and plenty of shots. Everyone ended up stuffed, sassy & sleepy. I'm very thankful for my family, dear husband and of course, for our crazy cast of friends! Oh yeah, and my cat.

I also want to take some time on my blog to apologize to PE for not waking him up earlier this morning. I'm sorry. I will try to be a better human alarm clock so you can keep your job. Hope you didn't get fired today! To my credit though, I did make sure you had clean underwear and socks to wear today.

Other news this weekend, I crossed off a chunk of things on my to do list, bought & put up x-mas decos, crocked a mean ass chili and slept (when I really should have been getting my car fixed.) Plus we finally have cable now. We wanted Dish but its such a process to get it cleared thru the association, paperwork etc etc that we just gave in to cable. I've never been a fan of cable b/c it seems that if the guy next door farts your cable usually goes out. I never had any probs with Dish. But I gotta say, so far, cable is proving to really be comcastic. We spent a lot of time ODing (On Demanding) all the shows we've missed. Like Deadwood, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Sex & City (well at least I did) & Real World (sad to say). Now all we need is to set up our Tivo. The other thing we give thanks for, the dumb box.

The only other thing that I have energy to type about now is about a news story I heard on the radio today. I only caught the very end but some kid was recently hit by a car and killed. The driver of the car apparently was text messaging when he hit the kid. Point is no one should be texting while driving b/c you're just not paying attention. But what irked me is that the radio host wrapped it up with such a sad, this never should have happend voice but then the show went right into a happy loud commercial promoting one of their holiday radio parties "The Breast X-Mas Party Ever." "You'll leave with happy mammories...erh..memories." So much for the dead kid.

Snow Scare

I wake up to PE telling me its snowing...hard. So I'm fearing this:

Then right after I wonder how long it will take the CPD to ticket me for parking on one of those no parking if there is 2" of snow streets. And about what a PITA its going to be jockying for a spot every day on one of the side streets b/c everyone and their cousin is going to be doing the same. Not to mention the joys of scraping snow & ice off every morning. Or the worry about who's gonna be the next asshole to ram another hole into my car (I still haven't fixed the one from last season).

But thankfully, really it just ends up being this (melting immediately):

TO: Kiss My Chopsticks

If I could fly to Japan I would! Thank you Wens for the wedding gift! They are beautiful! I even oh so carefully peeled the tape off the wrapping paper so as not to rip it b/c it was so pretty. You didn't have to send us anything! I've never sent anything overseas so b patient for the official return thank you.

Capes

There is a man in this building that wears one. It looks identical to this:

I shit you not. I've seen him a few times. First time I thought there had to be a reason for it like he's an actor or something but by the third time, no, its really his outer wear. Funnier thing is, I think he's a doctor. Relatively young but short & squat. I mean what better way to draw more attention to your height challenge then to wear a cape?! Not to take the wind outta his cape, but being a doctor does not make cape wearing any more publically acceptable....I think. Someone correct me but am I out of the loop on something? Is this the hip new men's fashion trend for the season? I wonder though, since this particular guy wears a cape, does he go home and build forts too?

Paralegally Blonde - don't you have some experience with fort building? Lemme know if you want me to hook you up.

Stuff

is one of the worst mags ever published. I just thumbed thru my first issue. Before I go on, let me just point out that it truly was for work related purposes, I did not purchase for my sole entertainment. It has your standard half naked chicks (which really are retouched guys. bigger boobs, slimmer thighs, you bet.) but other then that, nothing. Its all crap. Any articles they do showcase are little snippets of unentertaining drool. Here are a few features, if not the only features, that I was able to find in this particular issue. Of course, after weeding thru all the cell phone, cologne & video game ads and before I slammed it shut in complete disgust:

1) Some story on a dead whale and how it's not safe to bury it on the beach.
2) 7 day puking detox rehab in Thailand.
3) And this keychain -













In case you can't tell, its of a fetus that actually floats around in the womb. I'll wait while you go order yourself one......

At least Playboy has full nudity AND engaging articles.

I feel so much dumber for even touching this rag.

At Least It's Friday

I'm having a bad day. I think it started in the parking garage when the dumbass in a big ass white van craaaaaaaawwwwwwwwllllllleeeeeed up the ramp 9 floors causing a 10 car pile up behind him making everyone who was on time, late. Or maybe it was when I realized that my husband fell asleep on the couch again and not snuggled up with me. Plus the work thing (one of those problems where its an interpretation/personal preference thing). Maybe its just b/c I'm pissed its cold now. Who knows. Either way its a crappy day.

I walked down Michigan Ave today and saw a horse & carriage. You know the ones you can rent that are really only rented by tourists? And I thought how could that possibly be any fun, especially on Michigan Ave? Also, don't even get me started on how horse hooves are not meant for concrete, shoe'd or not. But think about it, you're sitting out in the open, watching & listening to traffic while sucking in bus exhaust fumes. Cars are either honking at you b/c you're moving too slow and causing them to miss their light or they're whizzing past you. There's really nothing to see, it's a street, it has stores, there's traffic, big whoop. Plus right now, its freezing your ass off, or in the summer, sweating it off. Then if your horse takes a big dump, bag or not, you're still in the wake of that oderiferous delight. Sound fun? I think not.

I've also been adding up all the little tasks that I need to do personally and on the homefront and it's getting really exhausting. There's decorating, ordering my wedding pictures, filing of piles & piles of boring paperwork, my laundry & his, changing my name and everything else that goes with that, setting up yet another roll over account for my 401k from my previous job, getting my husband on my insurance b/c his sucks, new insurance for the condo, my car needs an oil change, new muffler (I hope thats all that loud rattling noise is when I accelerate) and an emmissions test that I've blown off since Sept when it was due, digging out winter clothes and sadly retiring the cute summer ones, moving shit out of the condo into the storage unit etc etc etc etc etc. I'm disconnecting the phones while I try to knock a huge chunck of these off my list this weekend. Sound fun? I think not.

HNT IX

New panties that needed to be showcased. Only 1 more left after this week! (edit per husband: 9 = IX not VIIII. Thanks Dear for ONLY noticing my error.)

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY NATALIE!

Yes, yes I forgot. But I remembered it earlier this week! I swear it. It just slipped my mind the day of. So I'm sorry! Everyone, this is Natalie and yesterday was her birthday please wish her a happy belated one since I so selfishly dropped the ball.
Isn't she purty?!
Here she is gettin' lo to da flo...although I think her dress is beating her to it.
Doesn't it look like the hand on the right is going in to honk her hooter? She has great, big wonderful hooters.

Anyway, she has been a BFF of mine for about 10 years now. We've stood up in each of our weddings and even after she moved thousands of miles away we have always stayed in touch. When we both lived at home in the boring ol' suburbs we would childishly entertain ourselves by molding playdough into obscene objects, see how bad we could tease each others hair, religiously adhere to 90210 & Dawson's Creek night, complain about our b-friends (she married hers I dumped mine), and do all the other stupid things girls do together when boys aren't around. She was/is the type of friend that you call on the phone b/c you're bored but are really too lazy to talk so you just end up watching a movie together on the phone (remember Wizard of Oz?!) instead of driving over.

So although your birthday was yesterday, I dedicate today to you, Natalie! Ok stop laughing. Besides flying out to see her in a few months its the best I can think of to make up for it right now. Happy birthday darling! I hope you managed to still have a fabulous day!

#22

I was on the couch last night nursing my reoccuring eye issue when PE blurts out, "oh yeah btw did you know you were listed as a blog hottie something or other." I squint at him and ask "really?" I thought if they saw me right then they wouldn't have been thinking so. All swollen, red, puffy, drippy ice pack, hair in a pony, the flannel pjs etc. But I was out of the office all day yesterday so I really didn't know about the honor. I rank #22 on the list.

SO first thank you to whoever nominated me!

Second, COULD YOU PLEASE HAVE POSTED BETTER PICTURES OF ME??!! Seriously, I think they took the worst pics I've ever posted on here of myself. And I'm not being overly critical. I'm actually surprised they didn't post the one of me dressed as Princess Leia. Take a look for yourself (here's your plug) http://blognhotties.blogspot.com/

This is what they should have posted. Granted I wasn't able to get it up here until today (bad blogger) but still. I mean they took pictures of me all sweaty (and NOT in a sexy way), rained on (again NOT sexy) and completely shlizted (mehh, I can live with this one). But everyone else gets the sexy doe eye pics.

I mean why didn't this one make the cut????

Either way, thank you for the nomination and for the recognition!

Oh yeah, one more thing, to the BloggnHottie Website people, I'm really not 19. Thats a line from the movie "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" before she loses her virginity. But thanks for thinking I was! Now thats hot!

BTW its snowing here.

More pictures from my B-day Party:

Bloggin hottie alumni, TR & Jade.

My John Wayne.

There's always one.

Dante & Tricki Micki. She'd hate me if she knew I posted this one of her.

Alchoholics.

And no self respectin' Texas joint wouldn't be complete without some chicken wire.

Also, keeping in line with the whole country theme, I'm going to a screening of "Walk the Line" tonight. I'll post reviews tomorrow.

Today Is My Birthday!!!

Happy b-day wishes, dirty pictures or money are all welcome.

Thanks to everyone who made it to my party on Friday! Its seems everyone who was able to make it in had fun. Sorry to those who came but were denied at the door due to bar capacity. We tried but there was nothing we could do!

Jade - it was awesome to finally meet you! You're even more beautiful in person! Can't wait for that sleep over with TR! Thank you for crashing!

Also, thank you to PE for giving me one of the best b-day gifts ever. A plane ride out to CO so I can see Ween for myself and get to see my sis and nephews again! Mwah! Love you!

I'd post pictures but blogger is saying uhuhh not having it. So I'll post when I can.

HNT VIII

Keeping my promise to hit 10. Even if it is a lazy attempt.

Things I've Seen Today

1) A rather large lady in my office walking down the hallway after leaving the bathroom not thinking anyone sees her digging, and I mean digging, in her ass crack for gawd knows what.

2) A normal looking, middle class, business lady, quietly being escorted out of Marshalls in handcuffs by Chicago's finest.

3) A UPS truck driver screaming profanities and threatening bodily injury to a driver on his left that was trying to cut in front of him to make a right turn, which eventually did do it.

4) A guy crammed in a box on wheels that was smaller then a phone booth doing a hand puppet show with really loud happy music blasting out of it. I restrained myself from pushing him downhill.

5) A Streetwise Representative (aka a bum) practically punched me in his enthusiasm to force me to buy one. When I said no thanks and kept walking he made no attempt to disguise his disappointment when he spewed at my back "well fuck you den...bitch."

I love Chicago.

Don't Laugh

but I went to the Bon Jovi concert on Saturday at the United Center. It was a last minute, eh why not. My friend needed someone to go with and I seemed like I was getting kicked out the house for some reason. If anything it was yet another cat bird seat for people watching. I couldn't keep count of all the has beens there. So many women who looked to be in their mid 40s (actually prob in their 30s but thats what extensive drug, booze and nic addictions do to you) but dressed like they were in their early 20s. It was nahhhhsty. I'm talking low rider jeans, early 90's block high heeled shoes, sequin belts, hugely obvious whale tails, half shirts, stretch marks, long teased hair and make up just seeping into those canyons. I would have taken a picture specifically of this one duo but I feared they would have kicked my ass. They caught me looking once, then again and I swear I heard the older one say something like "what the fuck, NO, I don't care...." and trailed off. I was afraid to look again.

Then there was the fat middle aged guy who is still wearing sweat pants. Grey ones with white tennis shoes (personally I would have used the terminology kicks but with this guy, they were tennis shoes). Seriously, it is NEVER ok to leave your house in sweats. There are only 2 exceptions to this: 1) you are going staight to the gym & back home and 2) you're deathly ill. Never, ever do you wear sweatpants, of any variety, to a concert of all places. Yuk. I bet he didn't wear underwear either stating his doctor says its healthier that way. Ewh.

Anyways, the funniest part was the 40 something old trailer hag that sat a few rows behind us that kept cupping her mouth and crowing during quiet parts or breaks before songs "Riiiitttchieee Saaaaambooooraaaa!" And mind you, we were in like the 700th section which = nose bleed. He couldn't hear her even if he had super power dog hearing. But she kept at it the whole show. She sounded like Mrs. Smith in the movie Better Off Dead. "Riiicckkkkyy." Except older and raunchier. http://members.tripod.com/~JB5252/betteroffdead/crismiss.wav

Its after 5 and I have nothing more to give. Don't worry, I'll be there for you tomorrow. Unless I take some Bad Medicine tonight. Which in that case I could be Wanted Dead or Alive. Either way, I'm Doing it My Way while Living on a Prayer. So Have a Nice day.

Imagery

HNT VII

I couldn't think of anything better so I had some fun with fruit. Or maybe I'm just too tired or bored to try and be sexy. Yes, that really is a banana, I swear it. (relax PE) Also, this will be one of my last HNTs. I'll keep going till I hit my 10th but then thats it. I'm running out of ideas, not to mention body parts to showcase.

(removed photo and placed under HNT side bar link)

On a side note, I've been craving a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. My wonderful and oh so giving on many levels husband, gave me a couple SB cards. And since I've been so late coming in to work lately, I just haven't had time to go in and get one. Epsecially since they usually take forever to make b/c there are normally 50 people ahead of me all ordering some Mocha caramel spice with NONFAT whip oh and some sprinkles. Someone please explain to me the point of non fat whip with that?

Anyhoo, so finally today I sneak off to finally indulge myself. Only 1 person ahead of me so I knew it wouldn't take long. Its my turn, I order my drink and I'm all smiles. I'm thinking about what great husband I have for giving me these, about how I don't have to pay out of my pocket for this ridiculously overpriced gluttonous poison and about how much I'm going to enjoy it. The very friendly lady takes my order and I hand over my card. She looks at it and in one of those sappy sorry voices replies "Sorry but we don't accept those cards here." WHAT?! A Starbucks store that does not accept a Starbucks Card?! All she can say is that this particular store does not accept those cards (no reason why, just can't) but if I'd like I could just pop on over to the one on Michigan Ave (b/c I have all the time in the world to pop, right?!) I stink eye her, pick my jaw up, shake my head, say this was all I have to pay with then just walked out. So I'm back on the shitty kitchenette coffee. mmmMMMmm. Extra burnt, just the way I like it. I hate today.