Don't Laugh

but I went to the Bon Jovi concert on Saturday at the United Center. It was a last minute, eh why not. My friend needed someone to go with and I seemed like I was getting kicked out the house for some reason. If anything it was yet another cat bird seat for people watching. I couldn't keep count of all the has beens there. So many women who looked to be in their mid 40s (actually prob in their 30s but thats what extensive drug, booze and nic addictions do to you) but dressed like they were in their early 20s. It was nahhhhsty. I'm talking low rider jeans, early 90's block high heeled shoes, sequin belts, hugely obvious whale tails, half shirts, stretch marks, long teased hair and make up just seeping into those canyons. I would have taken a picture specifically of this one duo but I feared they would have kicked my ass. They caught me looking once, then again and I swear I heard the older one say something like "what the fuck, NO, I don't care...." and trailed off. I was afraid to look again.

Then there was the fat middle aged guy who is still wearing sweat pants. Grey ones with white tennis shoes (personally I would have used the terminology kicks but with this guy, they were tennis shoes). Seriously, it is NEVER ok to leave your house in sweats. There are only 2 exceptions to this: 1) you are going staight to the gym & back home and 2) you're deathly ill. Never, ever do you wear sweatpants, of any variety, to a concert of all places. Yuk. I bet he didn't wear underwear either stating his doctor says its healthier that way. Ewh.

Anyways, the funniest part was the 40 something old trailer hag that sat a few rows behind us that kept cupping her mouth and crowing during quiet parts or breaks before songs "Riiiitttchieee Saaaaambooooraaaa!" And mind you, we were in like the 700th section which = nose bleed. He couldn't hear her even if he had super power dog hearing. But she kept at it the whole show. She sounded like Mrs. Smith in the movie Better Off Dead. "Riiicckkkkyy." Except older and raunchier. http://members.tripod.com/~JB5252/betteroffdead/crismiss.wav

Its after 5 and I have nothing more to give. Don't worry, I'll be there for you tomorrow. Unless I take some Bad Medicine tonight. Which in that case I could be Wanted Dead or Alive. Either way, I'm Doing it My Way while Living on a Prayer. So Have a Nice day.