It's Not Sipping Margaritas on a Beach

but at least I'm not at work. I'm ooto all this week. It was a use it or lose it deal. My week consists of boring house chores that I have put off for over a year. Like those damn curtains. But maybe just maybe there will be a new car in my future. I need one. It's time. I just picked up my car from the shop today. I took it in to get a report on what is wrong with it. Turns out a lot. Much to their dismay I only opted to fix only one small thing, the broken gas gauge*. I mean who needs functioning U joints on ALL sides. Seriously the amount I'd spend to fix it up would be about 1/2 the amount of what the car is worth. Trust me I'm not looking forward to another car payment for the next 20 years of my life but frankly, I'm embarresed to drive what I have (not to mention it's just jinxed). I have actually witnessed clients cringe at the site of my car. So sadly after much review, I have realized that I will not be driving the new Beemer I yearn for but it will be a foreign model (F this GM crap). Honda Accord or Nissan Altima. Both safe, solid, reliable sedans. If I don't show my age, my car will. How sad is that?! Either way it will be an upgrade from what I have now and thats all I ask for.

* I guess in order to fix the gauge they had to empty the tank. Now I can't say for sure b/c it was broken when I brought it in but I should have had about a half tank of gas. When I drove off the lot it was as far empty as it could possibly go. Bastards stole my gas!!!

Jag Offs Driving Jaguars

Is it a prereq to buy one of these?

This morning I was blatantly almost side swiped and cut off by one of these dickfaces. Turns out, according to his license plate, this particular dickface is our Illinois Representative #48 Mr. James H. Meyer who currently resides in probably one of the most highly populated dickfaced towns, Naperville.

Hi Representative Dickface!

Hey everyone, did you know your Dad drives like a dick?

My depiction of how it got did this morning at Ashland & Armitage:



Clearly he was being a jag off. Only jag offs sit in that spot not to mention without indicating if they are going to turn right or move to the left and go straight. Given the ambiguous nature of his poor driving skills, this gives you the automatic right to move on up. So in I did. But once he recognized I was pulling in he immediately was struck with a case of the me first mentality and he abruptly turned the wheel, gased it and came within inches of hitting my car as he greedily decided he wanted the spot I was in. Dickface. At least I was in PEs car so if he runs the plates he'll be the one in trouble. Sorry Dear!

Go Ahead, Wish Me

It's my birthday today. I finally have begun to feel old. Luckily though, I don't look it...or so people tell me.

And what better way to celebrate my birthday then laughing at the misfortune of an acquaintance of ours (complete idiot and it was a matter of time anyway) who was arrested for soliciting a prostitute here in my own beloved city. You can find more of him at: http://www.chicagopolice.org/ps/list.aspx


Say cheese Stein.

$ $ $ $ $ $ $



What a 32 year old of my caliber looks like:

Not the best shot of me but it was the only one I could download from my camera before it died on me. My new battery charger crapped out. May that thief rot in hell. But hey at least you know what to get me for my birthday.

P.S. Mr. Whisks - Mommy thanks you for the beautiful red roses you sent her at work. You're the bestest kitty in the whole wide world!

Anyone Else

feel like they are slowly being poisoned Flowers in the Attic style? Instead of my usual tasty cup of coffee that I have just about every single morning since my first day on my first job I'm indulging in this


I was out sick on Wed (puking so hard that I broke thousands of tiny blood vessels in my face which are still visible today), my boss was out yesterday, the girl I share an office with is out today along with my boss for at least half the day, the guy down the hall was out for a couple days last week, seriously what is going around??!! I feel like ass and my stomach is making weird noises that scare me. On top of this, on my way in to work today I heard Grease on the radio so now that whole soundtrack is playing in my head "there are worse things I could do then go with a boy or twooo..."

But more importantly just to set the stage early on, anyone going to my gathering tomorrow, I can not guarantee that I won't spend the whole time in the bathroom. Consider yourself forewarned.

Rah Rahh Go Team!

I had to attend a work function last night at ESPN Zone. It was to celebrate the agency's big Wal-Mart win. One of the largest agency wins in the US. It's huge. So due to the magnitude of this awesomeness, Mayor Daley popped in for a bit to mingle (although I just missed him) as well as this goofy named Chicago Bear:



Adewale Ogunleye and his signature expression.

He was signing mini plastic footballs with our logo and Wal-Mart's on it and taking pictures. I guess that must be some really hard, strenuous work b/c by the time I got up to him he didn't say hello, had a very obvious "get the fuck away from me" look on his face and actually moaned when we asked if I could get a picture.

I don't know, I guess he is smiling.

After these festivities I made my way over to the Cobra Lounge to rock out with one of our not so popular bands, Sound of Urchin. When the drummer came over to hang out with us before the show I promptly knocked over not 1 but 2 of my drinks in front of him like a complete spazz. All due to the enormously long straws they were using not b/c of being "star" (hahaha) struck. Really, they just got in the way. But I was made to feel less spazztic later on when PE and one of our other friends followed suit with the whole spilling of the drinks game.

So now I'm at work. I had to drag myself in. I was going to call it a day half way through but as you can see thats not working out as I planned. I'm tired, hung over and dizzy. I just want to go home. BTW PE behaved all proper like for those of you who are wondering.

Speaking of PE, we learned how extensive the hole in his nose is. We can actually pull a piece of floss through it. I'd post the picture but it disgusts even myself. Fun with recovering drug addicts. You learn something new every day!

10 Things You Didn't Know About Me

What?! Do you have anything better to blog about lately? Yeah, that's what I thought. Now shut it and read it.

1. I have a tendency to start reading books but stop a 1/4 way through and not pick it back up until months, sometimes a year or more later.

2. I refer to my cat as Whisks or Mr. Whisks (not his real name).

3. My husband is a recently pronounced recovering drug addict. Isn't married life great?! Seriously, I still love him but now who am I going to do my drugs with??

4. I've met with a head doctor twice but am not impressed and prob won't go any more.

5. My brother used to chase me around the house with this:

because he knew it scared the bajeezus out of me. To the point where I would bawl (the inside is even scarier but I can't find pics of it). I still find it disturbing.

6. I was a flautist in elementary school. A band nerd. And the one time only exclusive big recital where I had a solo part, I left my flute at school. This after the band director told us a bazillion times that day to not forget and leave your instrument at school. Which coincidentally, was the only time I ever left it at school.

7. I won a blue ribbon while show jumping a retired race horse named Sly Guy.

8. Instead of correcting silly, ignorant tourists when they look up in amazement at this building

and murmur to their friends and family (like they really know) "that's the Sears Tower," I just laugh at them and keep walking.

9. I hate doing probono work even though I should feel good about it.

10. And, as recently witnessed by my sister this year, although I love going to haunted houses, I act like such a scared wuss once inside. I cling to the arm of whoever is with me, scream the whole way through, actually whine outloud "why do they keep following me?!" in front of the monsters/actors, and basically run through the house not stopping to take it all in. $14 for about 5 minutes of scare. She was a little disappointed.

# # #

I'm slow, blog is slow. I blame it on the weather and #3.

A parking spot opened up in my building for cheap. PE & I were all over it and it's mine mine mine now. Renting only of course but prob for as long as I want it or until the guy sells his place. Just in time for winter. No plow mishaps, no worries of no parking when snow is 2 inches or more, dumb people who can't park in snow and hit my car and leave big holes in my bumper, no cleaning off car in the middle of a snow storm, no shoveling out where people have shoveled me in, no meters and no drunk people peeing on it, scratching it, pulling off mirrors or whatevs. For at least 6 months pure parking bliss. I hope my car fits in the space....

My work has given us the week between x-mas and new years off, paid. Now that's a good bonus.

My birthday is in 8 days. I'll still be nineteen...