I Should Have Run Her Over

I am forced to park on the street. A busy main street. Parking is at a premium so many times you have only 2 inches to manuever your car out of it's spot. So as you're wiggling out of your space, you also have to constantly look in your mirrors & over your shoulder to see if an oncoming car is going to clip you or if a cyclist is going to whizz past you at the exact second you gas it out of the spot. Not to mention all while staying conscious of not tapping the cars bookending you (which I gotta be honest, they get tapped. Ohhhh they get tapped.)

So this morning, I hop in my ride and reverse it to start the parallel parking dance. I back it up then look forward to turn my wheel & pull out. When I looked up there was this idiot girl blab blab blabbing on her celly as she stepped off the curb to stand directly in front of my car to look at traffic to cross the street. There wasn't any so instead of walking she just stood there yapping away. Now maybe if she was able to multitask, you know, talk and think at the same time, she might have noticed this big red loud crooked moving truck to the side of her was the reason there was an opening between cars to cross at.

Needless to say, I didn't have time to wait for her to chat away then saunter across the street in her velour sweatsuit. I had a choice. Pin her against the car in front of me or honk my loud ass horn in her ear. Well sad to say, I horned her. She jerked back and looked at the windshield. As I'm pointing at her and clearly mouthing "what the fuck are you doing lady," she shoots me a pathetic dirty look, trying to mask her guilt of being a complete moron, like I'm the asshole. Then she sauntered her velveteen ass back to the curb.

Dumb bitch.