New Years Resolutions 2006
1. Not give hula dolls as grab bag gifts
2. Not get so schlitzed at family gatherings that my own Mother offers to give me a "sippy" cup of water on my way to bed.
3. Be more on time....well let's be realistic, at least just not as late.
4. Spend more time with family and friends.
5. Develop a higher level of patience. After all, it is a virtue.
6. Try not to obsess over the little things. Or even the big things.
7. Pick up a new hobby and stick with it.
8. Not drink...as much (goes along with #2).
9. Get Pregnant.
10. And of course the most popular resolution of all time, the one word bound to slurr past the lips of millions of people at midnight tomorrow, exercise.
To all my friends and family, I love you dearly. I'm a very lucky girl. I wish you all much love, happiness, wealth & health this New Year!
2006, year of the Fat Elvis Drive Thru Renewal of Vows!
* Note: number 9 is a joke and not to be taken seriously, AT ALL. What it really should read is: Refrain from sitting down at family dinner tables during the holidays and at a quiet moment, take the hand of my spouse and promulgate: we have a special announcement to make. Pause for effect, look into each others eyes, face the table again and say: We just wanted to let you all know that we....smile....got digital cable. Yes, we did that this year. Twice. We almost felt bad for our families, almost, as we watched their faces light up with glee then quickly burn out. So I'll stop doing that and in addition, I also resolve to at least practice more of the baby making skills for if and when we ever chose to actually go thru with it. That one's for you honey! Merry New Year!
2. Not get so schlitzed at family gatherings that my own Mother offers to give me a "sippy" cup of water on my way to bed.
3. Be more on time....well let's be realistic, at least just not as late.
4. Spend more time with family and friends.
5. Develop a higher level of patience. After all, it is a virtue.
6. Try not to obsess over the little things. Or even the big things.
7. Pick up a new hobby and stick with it.
8. Not drink...as much (goes along with #2).
9. Get Pregnant.
10. And of course the most popular resolution of all time, the one word bound to slurr past the lips of millions of people at midnight tomorrow, exercise.
To all my friends and family, I love you dearly. I'm a very lucky girl. I wish you all much love, happiness, wealth & health this New Year!
2006, year of the Fat Elvis Drive Thru Renewal of Vows!
* Note: number 9 is a joke and not to be taken seriously, AT ALL. What it really should read is: Refrain from sitting down at family dinner tables during the holidays and at a quiet moment, take the hand of my spouse and promulgate: we have a special announcement to make. Pause for effect, look into each others eyes, face the table again and say: We just wanted to let you all know that we....smile....got digital cable. Yes, we did that this year. Twice. We almost felt bad for our families, almost, as we watched their faces light up with glee then quickly burn out. So I'll stop doing that and in addition, I also resolve to at least practice more of the baby making skills for if and when we ever chose to actually go thru with it. That one's for you honey! Merry New Year!
up for sale by melmar at 11:25 AM
3 Comments:
I almost peed my pants at number 9, you bitch.
Ha Ha, I love the breaking of false pregnancy news. My ex and I took the opposite tact. Keeping in tradition with our way of breaking the news of someones death [You know my Grandma? DEAD.] he went up to his parents, friends and extended family and said, "You know Jada? Pregnant."
Happy New Year, babe!
You are something hilarious!
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