SIDEWALK ETIQUETTE
Yes, there is such a thing.
I was walking to my car the other night after work, which was parked at an insanely overpriced parking garage in the Loop, arguing in my head that it was ok to drive that day b/c the el just isn't that safe right now and if I forgo like 100 Starbucks coffees I can afford it. I was walking on the correct side of the walk for the direction I was headed. You know, like driving a car. Up in the distance I can see this woman walking on MY side of the walk, which happens to be the side against the buildings. She's on course for a head-on collision with me. Now she's far enough ahead that I think to myself "Oh well she must know about the rules of the walk and will step to her side of the walk accordingly." You know like she's passing a car thats going too slow in front of her so she moves over into the left lane to pass then back to her lane. So no big deal, yet. As she gets closer, not only has she not receded back to the other side, I notice she is so bundled up that you can only see her eyes. Mind you it wasn't even THAT cold out. She reminds me of Randy "I can't put my arms down" from the movie A Christmas Story. I giggle and keep walking but I'm getting a little annoyed b/c she hasn't moved over yet.
At this point we are both close enough that we are making eye contact with each other. Her beady little eyes bulging out of her horribly outdated crocheted scarf, which was snaked up and down her head and me thinking this isn't fing Europe lady. I could tell we were both telepathically telling the other to move the F over. With each step we are more determined. Closer, closer we get. Eventually we are face to face on the side of the building. She's shorter then me so I'm kind of looking down on her. Its a showdown. Who's gonna break and move over.
After about 5 seconds of silent staring, I give in and proceed to move past her. Now before you say haha sucka, there's more. I wrapped myself around her not giving her an inch. Kind of pressing her up against the building. Just about half way thru I feel her arm start to twitch, to what I presume would be to push me off her, but before she could my cat like reflexes (or SOUTH SIDE tendencies, you chose) kicked in and I shoved her so hard I tossed her back a couple steps. I was hoping it was hard enough to make her fall down so I could watch her roll around on the ground like Randy "I can't get up!" But it wasn't (my only regret). I turned to face her with a "Sup?!" fully expecting that this broad was gonna throw down but instead she turned and sulked away......on the CORRECT side of the walk.
Sidewalk etiquette people. Learn it, love it, practice it. Or face the consequences.
I was walking to my car the other night after work, which was parked at an insanely overpriced parking garage in the Loop, arguing in my head that it was ok to drive that day b/c the el just isn't that safe right now and if I forgo like 100 Starbucks coffees I can afford it. I was walking on the correct side of the walk for the direction I was headed. You know, like driving a car. Up in the distance I can see this woman walking on MY side of the walk, which happens to be the side against the buildings. She's on course for a head-on collision with me. Now she's far enough ahead that I think to myself "Oh well she must know about the rules of the walk and will step to her side of the walk accordingly." You know like she's passing a car thats going too slow in front of her so she moves over into the left lane to pass then back to her lane. So no big deal, yet. As she gets closer, not only has she not receded back to the other side, I notice she is so bundled up that you can only see her eyes. Mind you it wasn't even THAT cold out. She reminds me of Randy "I can't put my arms down" from the movie A Christmas Story. I giggle and keep walking but I'm getting a little annoyed b/c she hasn't moved over yet.
At this point we are both close enough that we are making eye contact with each other. Her beady little eyes bulging out of her horribly outdated crocheted scarf, which was snaked up and down her head and me thinking this isn't fing Europe lady. I could tell we were both telepathically telling the other to move the F over. With each step we are more determined. Closer, closer we get. Eventually we are face to face on the side of the building. She's shorter then me so I'm kind of looking down on her. Its a showdown. Who's gonna break and move over.
After about 5 seconds of silent staring, I give in and proceed to move past her. Now before you say haha sucka, there's more. I wrapped myself around her not giving her an inch. Kind of pressing her up against the building. Just about half way thru I feel her arm start to twitch, to what I presume would be to push me off her, but before she could my cat like reflexes (or SOUTH SIDE tendencies, you chose) kicked in and I shoved her so hard I tossed her back a couple steps. I was hoping it was hard enough to make her fall down so I could watch her roll around on the ground like Randy "I can't get up!" But it wasn't (my only regret). I turned to face her with a "Sup?!" fully expecting that this broad was gonna throw down but instead she turned and sulked away......on the CORRECT side of the walk.
Sidewalk etiquette people. Learn it, love it, practice it. Or face the consequences.
up for sale by melmar at 4:49 PM
1 Comments:
South Side repreZENT. Bitch better recognize!
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