Melmar

Over the Hill and Through the Woods

2009-10-05T13:08:00.003-05:00

I went home to IN this last weekend and as I was driving down one of the country back roads I came across this hill in the road. I've driven down this road before but at that moment, as I approached the hill, it just kind of washed over me that life is like going over that hill.

One of the last times I drove on that road with someone in the car with me, I drove up that hill so fast just so that I could get that little spike at the top that is like the feeling you get when on a rollercoaster with a big drop. Visibility is terrible, the road is narrow and you can not see over it. It's like the world just ends on the other side of it. You can't tell if another car is coming over the other side, if they are within their own lane or if anyone is stopped just over the hill in your own lane. I knew it was careless and dangerous but I took the risk anyway. I was scolded for being careless and reckless and rightfully so.

This time going over that hill it felt like advancing towards the future. Some go fast and carelessly into the unknown, some go slow and cautiously. Either way you approach it, you have no idea what waits for you on the other side and really don't have much control over what does lay ahead. It could be a car crash or it could be safe and sound.

This time I drove over it slow and cautioulsy.

Sick and Tired

2009-09-30T14:33:00.002-05:00

of a lot of things but really I'm just sick and I'm tired. I am also sick and tired of looking at my feet below. The funny thing is I don't even like feet. Feet bother me. I don't really even like my own feet and I'd venture to say I don't have bad looking feet. They just irk me. I won't get into my feet speech.

Seriously though, I'm sick. Probably just a combo of a basic cold, allergies and stress. I'm just run down and getting old! I'm not going to freak out and think I have swine flu, although many in my company here have it or had it.

Speaking of the job, I had my review yesterday and right after I had to go home early b/c I was about to pass out. Nice, right?! In case you're curious, I had a glowing reveiw. I'm not surprised b/c I bust my ass here. Why wouldn't I have a good review? Contrary to what was said a month or so ago, raises aren't completely out of the question. We are waiting on the answer to a couple big pieces of business I think before they start dishing out the dough. If they do, I was assured I'd be top on the list in line for one. Fingers are crossed. I could really use it. So at least for now I am semi secure and not in jeopardy of standing in the unemployment line.

HNT XII - "Cinderella Bound"

2009-09-24T10:09:00.008-05:00

For this week's HNT, I produced from the back of the closet my old "glass slippers." These mixed with the pink ribbon reminded me of Cinderella when she was up in the attic making her own dress for the ball. It was pink with lots of bows before the evil step sisters ripped it to shreds right off of her. Is it twisted that I associate a Disney movie with this submission? Maybe but it does seem to be a good fit, doesn't it?

Bookworm

2009-09-23T14:23:00.005-05:00

I'm having a particularly hard time staying focused lately. Probably why I can't seem to write on here as easily as I did in the past. My thoughts are so scattered and unorganized. About the only time my brain rests is when I read a book and even then it's a conscious effort. Right now I am reading "Lasher" by Anne Rice. It has been a faster read for me compared to the first in the series. "The Witching Hour" took me roughly 3 years to finish reading. Over a thousand pages but I had a lull in my desire to read. Perhaps b/c I had a life back then. Either way reading is the only way now to cease my overactive thought process. My escape from myself.

I had forgotten how much I enjoy books. A friend of mine proudly announced to me today that she won a Kindle. I'm a fan of the technological advance and the benefit of potentially being more "green" then traditional books. But I have to say I can't give up the guilty pleasure of real printed books. It starts when I hear or learn of a book I want. The hunt to find it, most likely in a bookstore. I haven't stepped foot in a library since college even though there is one about 2 blocks from my condo. Shame on me. I can't help it. I enjoy new, crisp unsoiled books.

Once in the store, being surrounded by all those books is stimulating. I become overwhelmed with all of the knowledge and entertainment surrounding me just waiting to be absorbed. There is so much of it. Then there is the smell. Fresh ink on paper. mmmm. (sidenote: part of the reason I like my job so much is I get to go on press and experience this at the source.) The other hook to books is the way it feels in your hands. So smooth and clean under your fingertips. Turning that first page is a thrill. Sound plays into the experience too. The way the spine cracks when you first open it (if it's a hardback) and the soothing swoosh of flipping page after page. It's such a satisfying feeling each time you turn a new page.

The only bittersweet component of books is the end of them. No matter if the story was captivating or bombed, there is a certain sense of accomplishment mixed with reflective sadness. The sadness is shortlived though, as my mind starts to wander on to whatever the next book is I want to read and the whole sensational experience repeats.

Plus all the cool bookmarks are fun to play with too. I know. I'm a book geek. But I can say I don't get this giddy over every single book. Some give off a bad vibe in your hand and you just know to put it back.

Authentic Melmar

2009-09-15T19:55:00.007-05:00

Well all of it is authentic but a handful of people have suggested and encouraged I post some of the "real" stuff I've written. Which again, everything I put on here is "real." The word "real" is subjective. But I know what everyone means, they want some of the deep down, inner poetic Melmar. Not the observational journalesque writing I churn out. So to appease the masses (ahem) here is something I wrote worthy of Beginners Lit I.

"Perpetual Encore"

The vibrant sun melts into the horizon
and eventually the black velvet curtain is drawn.

The haunting stillness and silence of night
replace the ordinary sounds of day.

Through the skeletons of trees
flicker tiny images of white.

Soon a cameo of the moon appears
during an intermission of clouds.

In the distance, dehydrated leaves rustle
in response to earth's chilled breath.

Before long, the shadows of gray and black bow out
and like clockwork the curtain begins to rise,

as night slowly fades
into the familiar shades of dawn.

Sweet Dreams

2009-09-14T10:43:00.007-05:00

I wish I could. I'm not allowed I guess. I dream vividly and violently. I try to explain it away as it's just me pulling in whatever it was that I saw or read last before slumber but it doesn't always add up. Then I think it's me trying to cope with my fear of the unknown. But not just regular life unknown, the evil unknowns of the world. The unspeakable acts that you never want to say out loud for fear that if you say them they will come true. And for that I bet I can place the blame on our media. Just read the news and it will scare you daily. For example, just recently a woman was abducted right across the street from my house...at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. They ripped her clean of her jewels, beat her and tossed her in their van. Lucky for her they dumped her out not long after (raped or not they didn't say but at least she was let go). So maybe my dreams are a pitiful attempt at facing my fears or worse it's my way of acting out what I secretly desire to do deep down inside of me.

To give you a glimpse of what I speak, here is how last night's dream played out:

I'm driving my old white '93 Chevy Cavalier out to Orland Park from Chicago (for those not familiar, Orland Park is a southwest suburb of Chicago). It's late afternoon in the middle of a rainstorm. It's all grey and hazy. I can't seem to keep my eyes open or keep steady control of the car. It's like I'm really drunk and numb. A few times I drive off the side of the road or drift into the other lane causing people to honk at me. I say to myself i I need to get off the road and rest or I'm going to die or kill or both. I pull off onto a frontage road that leads up to a new Holiday Inn hotel. It's new construction so the roads are all gravel, muddy and wet. I barely make the turn for the road leading up to the hotel, I fishtailed it. I roll my window down to look at the ditch I almost flew into. My hair gets all wet and stringy from the wind blowing in the rain through the window. I remember how it smelled. Like wet concrete and wood.

That's all I remember about that part. The next scene is where the getting gets good. I am pulling into the driveway of my old childhood home where I grew up. It's now evening and the house is lit up all warm and glowing. It's humid out. I walk inside and run into my father. He asks me about my golf clubs and where are they? I think for a minute and say they are at that club where I was going to play a game with friends but we hadn't decided the date yet so they let me just leave them there for when I came back. My father says I should really go get them in case they lose them. I agree and leave the house through the garage. The garage door is open so I walk right out to the driveway. As I get in my car and start reversing out of my long, dark tree lined driveway, I look up to see my mother walk out into the garage to get something. At the same time I see two twentysomething men appear from out of the shadows and walk across my driveway in front of me. Almost like they didn't even see me. I immediately sense very bad thing will come of this.

I watch them walk up to my front door where my brother lets them in. They seem to not notice my mother and the open garage. I watch how the black doorstep is flooded with light as he slowly opens the door. They push their way in. I drive back up to the garage and tell my mother to get in my car and lock the doors. She's questioning me and I have to tell her there are intruders in the house as I shove her in the direction of my car. I have to save them. If anything goes bad, I tell her to drive away. I frantically look around the garage for a weapon. I panic that I'm not seeing anything suitable (imagine that, no weapon in a garage??) Then it comes into view, high up on the wall but not so high that I can't reach it. A hatchet. Perfect for my small hands and for what I know I'm about to do. I grab it and I can feel the weight in my hands, I smell the old rusty steel. It suits me well.

I head for the door inside my house. I glance over at my mother one last time to make sure she is secured in the car. She is terrified. My heart is pounding so hard I can feel it against my breast. My wrists and neck are throbbing. Just as I am about to climb the steps inside one of the men descends down toward me. He has a smug look on his face. He's blond, large build but looks to be older now, 40's, deep lines in his face. I know what he's starting to think. Lucky him to find this petite, defenseless girl. I can't possibly give him any trouble and the kind that I can give would just excite him.

I let him draw nearer. My fingers grip the hatchet behind my back so tightly it hurts. I refuse to let it leave my hands. He is now in between the two cars parked in the garage (our old orange '77 vette and my brother's red Camaro year 90's). Soon as he is standing in front of me, ready to claw and clutch at me, I swing the hatchet with all of my being around my right side and impale him right in the middle of his chest. The dull thud reverbrates through my hands and up my arms. I yank backwards. He stumbles to my left and falls on his back onto the front corner panel of the vette. I proceed to hack the holy hell out of him. Blood splatters, pieces of flesh fly but I don't stop. There is no sound except the gruesome sticky sound of me hacking him to pieces. I stand back, wipe a bloody strand of hair from my eye, take a deep breath and look at him. Clearly I have killed him but, like most of my other dreams, I can't believe he is dead. I have to take it further to be sure. I lean over him with one knee on the car and proceed to chop away at his neck until he is headless. This all happened in a matter of minutes.

I look back at my mother and she is speechless. I start to head into the house again and she crys noo! I tell her I have to go. I can't leave them in there. Again, just as I'm about to walk in this time my father steps out. He is scared and just says in a monotone voice "Hello Melmar. How are you?" I know he's trying not to give anything away just like the intruder told him to do. At that moment the other intruder slips past the door and sees me. He too rushes out to meet his fate. I let the same situation play out. The intruder comes towards me but is not smug, he is angry and just wants to murder me. He's yelling something. Then just as he is within arms reach I axe him the same as I did the other. Repeatedly until his chest is a shredded mass of skin, organs and fat. Only him I leave intact, believing for once I have killed sufficiently on my first attempt.

My brother slowly walks out to the garage. We are all there now, as a family and unharmed. I look down at my bloodied hands and feel for the first time how swollen and raw they are. Just like how they feel after I've hit buckets upon buckets of golf balls with no glove. No one speaks. We just stare at each other frozen in stunned silence. End dream.

Welcome to my dreamland. This isn't even the worst of them.

HNT XI

2009-09-10T22:21:00.010-05:00

For lack of anything better. The three areas on my body I want to ink up; shoulder, wrist, ankle. What would you color me with?

F -

2009-09-04T13:02:00.004-05:00

Serious case of writer's block.

White Wedding

2009-08-31T09:46:00.008-05:00

A distant relative of mine was married on Saturday. Good for them. I wish them luck. Given the odds it won't be easy. The only things worth noting about that night are my sister and I both left our own spouses...at home, there was an Elvis impersonator, my Mom and Dad came in second as being married the longest in a room full of about 160 people and another relative insisted on arguing with me about how old I really am. After about 15 minutes of being called a liar, that conversation ended with me saying "Yes I am thirty fucking five years old. Now drop it." My age seems to arouse such curiousity in people. Do I really look that young or is it that I just act too juvenile? Don't answer that.

The Sign of Four

2009-08-28T22:41:00.011-05:00

"With his long, white, nervous fingers he adjusted the delicate needle, and rolled back his left shirt-cuff. For some little time his eyes rested thoughtfully upon the sinewy forearm and wrist all dotted and scarred with innumerable puncture-marks. Finally he thrust the sharp point home, pressed down the tiny piston, and sank back into the velvet-lined arm-chair with a long sigh of satisfaction."

THE SECOND COMING

2009-08-26T20:02:00.003-05:00

In the time that I have been away people have had kids (multiple times), married, divorced, gotten new jobs, graduated, moved and pets have died. A lot has happened. I don't really know where to begin again so I'm just diving in. I have to start somewhere. I've realized that I actually kinda liked writing on here and missed it so here I am, speaking to practically no one. But for me it doesn't matter who's reading it's just about me getting "it" out of me.
I recently became aware that I have been sucked inside myself so this is how I think I can reverse that negative behavior.

Now, just like when I started this, I don't expect that I'll be posting every day but I can pretty much bet that after a few posts are under my belt I'll pick up the pace. I won't advertise that I'm a glorious writer bursting with talent & humor. I'm not, by any means. But I do think every once in awhile I capture something that is worth something. Those are the moments that at least keep me hooked and dedicated.

Besides, my mother-in-law just asked to be my friend on Facebook. It's time to come back.

I wanted to refresh the whole look of the blog and I still intend to but I didn't have any luck at my first attempt. I'm afraid I'll lose all of it. I'm rusty, so if anyone has any tips or sites that are trustworthy and easy, I'd appreciate it.

Cheers!

Get Ready....

2009-08-14T21:51:00.002-05:00

Coat Tails

2007-09-17T10:42:00.001-05:00

Although this may seem as I am riding on the coat tails of Miss Tequila Red, if you've read my blog you'll know that I too have dropped off the planet as well. Life, real life, is my priority and it leaves little time for blogging. Not to mention I've not been inspired to write anything that is worth anything. So I too am bowing out of the blog arena. I'm not writing anything fancy or sappy just a simple thank you for reading. Don't fret though, I'll still lurk around now and then to read about other people's lives & opinions from time to time. Now to leave something pretty behind, here are some pics I took on our Napa Valley trip this month:

Because She Asked

2007-08-15T21:48:00.000-05:00

and because she deserves it.

CONGRATULATIONS TEQUILA RED!!!

On her new job and kick ass raise.

There, are you happy now, you don't have to look at Poison anymore. See you on the 29th for the old jeeb reunion!

Double Feature

2007-07-16T10:56:00.001-05:00

is right. Mr. Michaels' reality show aired last night "Rock of Love." This is some good ol' trash tv for you. Seeing Bret brought back an old high school memory. I was a pretty big Poison fan back in the day, so for one of my first high school parties I dressed up like one of the sluts in their videos, thinking "hey, its a party, perfectly acceptable." I believe that one fashion faux pas ruined my whole high school career. My reality was permanently checked. I don't think that has happened yet for the majority of the women on this show. I can't wait to see who, and I quote, "rocks his world." I already have the DVR set up to record the whole series.

Now, you can't watch the above and not watch the below.

Nice sweatshirt. "Scott Baio is 45 and Single" and you better not even think about calling him Chachi because he'll kick your ass. This too brought back a couple old memories that I shared with PE which immediately made him choke with laughter. When I was like 9 years old I wrote him a letter. I had a HUGE crush on him. I had this fancy purple letterhead and I remember scripting a couple versions until I had one without any erasure marks on it. Not only did I seal it with some stupid butterfly sticker I actually sealed it with a lipstick kiss. I KNOW! However, I don't think I ever had the nerve to send it. I really can't remember if I did but I do know I wrote that letter. Then a mere year or so later and I was singing along to "In My Midnight Confessions" on my Fisher Price record player. "When I tell all the world that I love you..."

I was such a goober.

Trouble Takes a Bath

2007-07-09T14:43:00.001-05:00

2007-07-09T11:12:00.000-05:00

For some reason blogger isn't letting me type in a title. Oh well. I've taken some time off from the blog to take care of and deal with some personal stuff. Because of that I haven't had time, inclination or inspiration to post. Not to mention that life as I knew it doesn't exist the way it did before. It's a lot to take in. But I guess once enough people start giving you shit about not posting you give in, digging deep for some silly blurb to appease the masses . I have to admit it does feels kind of uplifting to know people actually do read my blog and take notice when its vacant. Whether or not these people actually care is an entirely different story.

I still don't care to post specifics about what I've been dealing with but I will share what else I have been up too.

I made my first trip out to AZ which wasn't a pleasure trip but a trip no less. I liked it out there. All the constant sun and heat makes big impact on your mood. Reinforces the fact of how sucky it really is out here in the midwest.

Like a few other fellow bloggers PE & I are tossing around the idea of moving in a year maybe 2. The city lights are dimming for us. There is a lot that we can't do here anymore and it kind of leaves us thinking "then whats the point of being here?" We too are also tired of the infamous "rat race," the rudeness, the snobbery, living on top of everyone and everything, the noise etc. We both grew up in the suburbs with a hint of country living thrown in. We've done the urban thing and I think we want to explore that country side a little more in depth. Certainly no suburbs for us. I'm talking farmland USA. Anyone who knows me knows of my passion for the equine species. Some day I'll have my own and if I can't have them then I want to at least be around them. Sorry, the poor beasts pulling carriages full of dimwitted tourists along Michigan Ave somehow just don't cut it.

We've also joined the gym that literally is right next door to our condo. Got a pretty sweet deal on the sign up and monthly fees. My job came in handy as it was on the corp discount list. Granted I had to walk back over to my house to grab a business card to prove it (figures the one time I didn't have any on me) but it was worth it. It has a couple pools so I'm jazzed about the swimming. Besides that it has everything and anything else you can think of for a gym. Just trying to occupy our time with something healthy and lose some weight. Now I just need to use it.

I've been doing ok at work. It was 2 years for me here on July 1. I've noticed that in my career history it seems that every 2 years something happens to me that alters my career path. Whether its being laid off or me leaving on my own something has happened. Well this time its just that I'm moving buildings. I'll be on the west side of Michigan Ave now. Which from a commuting aspect is much better but I'll be losing my view of the lake & navy pier. The only other plus is I might be able to pick up some different accounts and actually be useful. We'll see.

View is much better in person.

We were followed out of the Target parking lot by a crazy guy. Him and his fat assed wife or whatever were walking right up the middle aisle in the parking lot. Taking their sweet ass time. You know making it so I have to follow on their heels in my car going less then a mile an hour. Which if it had been at the end of the aisle I would have waited but we were at the front and it would be a long ride before they waddled down to their car. So I gently tapped my horn to let them know we were there (which I don't know how they couldn't have which in turn makes them even bigger assholes). As they move off to the side the guy gives me the dirtiest look like I'M the asshole in this equation. I just give him a dirty look back and drive off.

Well we exit the parking lot and I'm on the main street now and I happen to look back over my shoulder back into the parking lot. I can't believe what I see. From that far away I could still see this idiot watching my car and somehow was able to see that I turned my head around so he starts shaking his hands and waving for us to come back. The below sort of demonstrates how far away I was from him and even this photo doesn't put enough distance between us or enough cars & people but you get the idea.

I just laugh give him the finger and continue driving. We get up to a stop light a good 5 blocks away from the store. We're waiting to turn left and guess who drives up on the right of us to go through the light. He STILL is dirty looking us. Well at this point I kind of mock him and do the "wha wha, what are you gonna do about it" thing with my arms as he drives through the light. He actually pulls in to the gas station in front of us and motions for us to follow. Uhh no. We floor it through the turn and make a last minute decision to hop on the highway in case he decides to follow us. Well he did. And it figures its a parking lot on the highway. Well we freaked out for a minute while he tried to weave his way up next to us. We thought for sure we were going to be on the evening news. As it turned out the guy I guess lost interest and passed by us without incident and we promptly exited. Who knew.

The Police played at Wrigley Field last week. We didn't have tickets but rode our bikes over. It sounded fine from the streets. There was no need to actually buy a ticket. The reviews were right when they said Sting can't hit the notes like he used to. He still sounded good. Better to know you can't sing in that range and adjust for it then to think you still can. We saw a couple walk past us and it was apparent that they were in the midst of an argument so PE & I stopped for the show. Couldn't really hear what they were saying but she was yelling and poking fingers at him while he ignored her and tried to text on his cell phone. She angrily hailed a cab and literally dragged him over to it. In doing so she ripped the front pocket on his jeans spilling his pack of cigarettes to the ground, which he didn't notice or didn't care. Score for me. Plus we were just happy that for once it wasn't us arguing in public.

The other thing we did is drove up to Milwaukee for Summerfest. Which I think should be renamed to Gooberfest. That is some good, trashy, mullet infested, bikini with jean shorts entertainment, among other varieties. It really is the armpit of society but still a fun time. If anything its a good pick me up (you know feel, better about yourself). We saw The Old 97s, Guster, The new Cars (note: not The Cars but The NEW Cars. if you think thats funny you should have seen all the Mom's dressed in their authentic 80's garb swinging their junk around to "Shake It Up") and caught the tail end of Papa Roach on our way out, uhhm, yeah.

Other then that I've been reading a lot of books and kind of staying very low key. Trying to get stuff organized and back on track. We've gone to a bunch of Cubs games , went to the beach once, where it rained on us, of course, a friends wedding & some dinners. I've also done a video shoot....with my cat. I hope to have the photos posted soon. I call it "Trouble Takes a Bath." Very artistic.

So there's the brief glimpse into what I've been up to. If the mood strikes I'll post again. But for now, don't hold your breath.

I'm Around

2007-05-03T12:39:00.000-05:00

Been busy and not in the mood to post.

But one thing worth sharing is I finally met with a new therapist. A real bonafide one this time, not just a probono counselor clown. He blew me off the first time I tried to meet with him but repeatedly apologized for days after on my voice mail that I had to give him another chance. If for no other reason then to just see what kind of a doctor blows off a psych patient. He wears a bow tie and uses terms like “hookin’ up” “friends with benefits” “I charge the rich people a higher fee then the poor people.”

I like him. I see him again on Friday.

So as such, don't expect many, if any, posts from me in the near future. I'm working on some shit.

I'm Off

2007-04-13T10:03:00.000-05:00

To Virginia again. Visiting Nat with a couple other girls. The weather will be just as crappy as it is here, of course. Last time I was out there we made White Russians with whip cream, pondered TR's nekkid picture from my wedding and I drunk dialed just about everyone in my phone. I anticiapte this trip being no different.

Pics to be posted next week.

PE, be good and feed the cat.

Hey Hey Whaddya Say

2007-04-10T13:30:00.000-05:00

Cubs went and lost yesterday.

My Dad is trying to sell my Mom's old car now. She got her new one in too. I recoed Craigs List and helped them post it on there. If I sold mine on there they should be able to sell hers. I was just looking around at all the cars for sale and came across this one. How on earth does this guy think these pictures are acceptable to post?? And the thing is, this is just 1 guy. There have been countless others I've seen and not just for cars either. If you're gonna post a picture you should at least be able to CLEARLY see the product. I hope none of those people sell whatever pieces of crap they are trying to sell merely just for being ignorant.

Opening Day

2007-04-09T09:49:00.000-05:00

37 degrees and it has already snowed. I don't care, at noon I'm still leaving for the game!

GO CUBBIES!!!!

Hunting For Rabbits

2007-04-05T15:16:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I actually saw one of these hopping along on Michigan Ave.

Flashback. I remember in 6th grade my best friend got one of these fur coats(along with this one.) I was so jealous of her. I wanted the fur one so bad. Hindsight, I'm thrilled I never had either.

It Was Really For His Benefit

2007-04-03T11:14:00.000-05:00

PE asked if I needed anything from Walgreens Friday night. I said I needed some fing Midol, except get the generic kind. I spared him the tampons. He went no questions asked and only made a few comments about pussy pills. This being the only time I have ever made such a request of PE, of course it would so happen that the guy working is the guy he knows that works at the bar across the street. HAHA! Thank you dear, the bloating & cramps have subsided.

Misc.

2007-03-26T10:52:00.000-05:00

I signed up for Netflicks but couldn't wait for them to deliver so I signed up at the local BlockBuster for a 1X deal. The Departed & Black Dahlia. The Departed was great, Dahlia not so much.

I have a new/old crush.

A friend's friend's wife thought I was hitting on her husband (with my own husband standing right next to me). So she felt it necessary to snub me when I tried to introduce myself to her. All that accomplished was her getting pushed into a crowd, stepped on and reduced to tears by me while her husband just sat back and bought another round of shots for us all. Apparently they're on the verge of a divorce. Given both of their behavior, I can see why. (Jen you could've been there to see it firsthand)

I also found out I am and have been lusted after....by a girl. It's nice to be wanted.

I scored some free Cubs tickets today.

It's also like 70 again today and I'm stuck inside. Cabin fever big time.

Which One Are You?

2007-03-15T16:10:00.000-05:00

Over

OR

Under

Because, obviously, the first one is the right way.

Someone Please Explain

2007-03-15T13:11:00.000-05:00

why this freak is still on? Fav male artist, Michael Jackson. Real shocker there. I can't stand him please be voted off.

Weather

2007-03-14T09:37:00.000-05:00

Normally I'd say weather talk is boring but PE made a comment about it last night that I told him I'd have to quote.

Me: So how was your day?

PE: Ewwrrgaahh.

Me: What?

PE: It's the weather. People were just acting like douchebags today.

Me: How so?

PE: I don't know....pleasant.

Personally, I hate spring too. The ups and downs of the thermostat. Mud. Not knowing how to dress. It's just messy and I don't like it.

Not A Damn Thing

2007-03-12T09:55:00.000-05:00

Is what I did this weekend. Yeah I washed the sheets and took a shower but really that was it.

I did, however, book a trip to visit Nat in VA next month. I was there about the same time last year. Remember:

=

Now the reason myself and 2 other girlfriends are making this trip out there is b/c Nat practically begged us to come all last week. "Oh air fare is cheap, I miss you guys" blah diddly blah. So us being the good friends we are, we did.

The kicker is, now that she knows we are all booked she drops not 1 but 2 bombs on us. One is that they have been trying to sell their house for a long time now. They had an open house last weekend and their realtor thinks they may get an offer. Meaning we could have no house to stay at now or a new one where we would be roped into helping them either move or unpack or both. None of which sounds like any fun to me. I think we were swindled. And if so, good job Nat but good luck getting us to actually work. I'm not the type to feel guilty for saying, "nah, I think I'll just have another beer instead of moving those books." It won't be one of those, "well I guess since we're out here anyway..." dealios.

Bomb 2 is she oh so conveniently just found out that one of her friends is having her bachelorette party that Saturday. So she asks that since we'd be going out Sat anyway, can we just go to this party. And if we don't have any fun we can leave (yeah right, you know how that goes. We have no fun and want to leave and then we look like the big assholes.)

So not only do we have a party to go to it apparently is going to be like what I can only describe right now as a very conservative knitting club. And I quote Miss Nat, “She’s older, she’s in between, over the whole obnoxious thing, she won’t like it if you are obnoxious.” Sorry gals but this party sounds like a real snooze. I think their idea of a wild fun party is having TWO kinds of red wine.

None the less, we're still going. We'll make our own fun (scaring Nat all the while giving her that headache she said we give her when we drink and prob cause her to be ostracized from her snooty society club all together).

I can't help it but this scene is screaming for us to recreate it:

I think she is regreting asking us all to come out at the same time. With this bunch, I would too.

Yawwn

2007-03-07T12:33:00.000-06:00

Is it baseball season yet?

I have a funny story to share but I can't post it without the picture that goes with it.

Nothing else brewing.

PE - Take note of this.

That Sucks

2007-03-01T13:39:00.000-06:00

Just drive off. They can't possibly peddle that fast.

Zoom Zoom

2007-02-27T12:28:00.000-06:00

Ok it's bought. And anyone who says the above to me is going to get run over (TR). Color is similiar to below but a lot darker (more like the other pic I posted before), I have different rims and I'm swapping out the spoiler for one that isn't so "Fast & Furious". It's, ironically, shipping in from MN.

CUSTOMER
We sat here right in this room and
went over this and over this!

JERRY
Yah, but that TruCoat -

CUSTOMER
I sat right here and said I didn't
want no TruCoat!

JERRY
Yah, but I'm sayin', that TruCoat,
you don't get it and you get
oxidization problems. It'll cost
you a heck of lot more'n five
hunnert -

CUSTOMER
You're sittin' here, you're talkin'
in circles! You're talkin' like
we didn't go over this already!

JERRY
Yah, but this TruCoat -

CUSTOMER
We had us a deal here for nine-
teen-five. You sat there and
darned if you didn't tell me
you'd get this car, these options,
WITHOUT THE SEALANT, for nine-
teen-five!

JERRY
Okay, I'm not sayin' I didn't -

CUSTOMER
You called me twenty minutes ago
and said you had it! Ready to
make delivery, ya says! Come on
down and get it! And here ya are
and you're wastin' my time and
you're wastin' my wife's time and
I'm payin' nineteen-five for this
vehicle here!

JERRY
Well, okay, I'll talk to my boss...

He rises, and, as he leaves:

JERRY
... See, they install that TruCoat
at the factory, there's nothin' we
can do, but I'll talk to my boss.

The couple watch him go to a nearby cubicle.

CUSTOMER
These guys here - these guys!
It's always the same! It's always
more! He's a liar!

WIFE
Please, dear.

CUSTOMER
We went over this and over this -

NEARBY CUBICLE

Jerry sits perched on the desk of another salesman who is
eating lunch as he watches a hockey game on a small portable
TV.

JERRY
So you're goin' to the Gophers
on Sunday?

SALESMAN
You bet.

JERRY
You wouldn't have an extra ticket
there?

SALESMAN
They're playin' the Buckeyes!

JERRY
Yah.

SALESMAN
Ya kiddin'!

JERRY'S CUBICLE

Jerry re-enters.

JERRY
Well, he never done this before,
but seein' as it's special
circumstances and all, he says I
can knock one hunnert off that
TruCoat.

CUSTOMER
One hundred! You lied to me, Mr.
Lundegaard. You're a bald-faced
liar!

Jerry sits staring at his lap.

CUSTOMER
... A fucking liar -

WIFE
Bucky, please!

Jerry mumbles into his lap:

JERRY
One hunnert's the best we can
do here.

CUSTOMER
Oh, for Christ's sake, where's my
goddamn checkbook. Let's get this
over with.

I won't have it till this Wed. But then the spoiler & rearview have to swap out and I'm not sure when they are doing that, parts and all. So that's that. I can't wait to see whats worng with it. Like wrong model, wrong color, wrong leather, a 2006 instead of 2007. Anyone want to take bets on what it's gonna be that's gonna send me spiraling out of control on some poor bastard at the dealer?

Kiss

2007-02-23T17:47:00.001-06:00

Call me a hopeless romantic but I love this commercial.

I Can't Help It - Don't Hate Me

2007-02-21T09:27:00.000-06:00

1. For blogging this.
2. For watching this.
3. For noticing this.
4. For my poor attempt of "photoshopping" this.

Are you with me?

How It's Done In Chicago

2007-02-20T13:14:00.000-06:00

Monday the agency was closed b/c of President's Day (yes we get that off here). So I decided to run some long over due errands like take my 6 watches in to get new batteries (yes 6). Well I drive all the way out to this guy we used back in our old neighborhood. I scored a spot off the busy main street to park right next to the building. I walk over only to find out the guy is closed. curses! But double curses when I get back to my car. For those of you thinking towed, nope, the spot was ligit. Turns out my car was stuck in the snow.

The warmest day we've had in a long time where the snow is actually melting yet I still get stuck in it. I try several times to rock my way out of it but the car wasn't budging (RWD). Luckily we have a small shovel in the trunk so I try shoveling some but still no. I walk across to CVS and buy some kitty litter. I just poured some out, which didn't work mind you, when this guy appeared out of no where and asked if I wanted some help. Me "actually yes, please." He takes the shovel and starts madly shoveling away for me. His newspaper drops, I go to pick it up and he roughly says "no, no. I got it." and continues shoveling. I thank him, smile and tell him I really appreciate his help and he says nothing. Finally he says try it now. I get in, gas it and it moves but not all the way out. He shovels some more, I gas it again, it doesn't move. So now he starts pushing the car and wham! Out I pop. I stop, get out to get the shovel and to thank him again and he just kind of shrugs, doesn't say anything and walks away. I'm still stunned that this guy helped me. Selfless acts of kindness these days are definitely few and far bewteen. I think this story has "Craigs List" written all over it.

P.S. the guy who hit my sister's car and took off while she was waiting to pick me up at the airport last time has been caught. another friggin rarity. what's going on here, I'm not used to all this!!!!????

Artistic Difference Of Opinions - To Say The Least

2007-02-15T14:37:00.000-06:00

This person posted her dislike for my tattoo and in addition made some assumed stereotypical judgements about about me personally. I've never met this person or had any contact whatsoever. This lashing was based on a photo PE posted of me on one of his chat sites. He told me about it then showed me these. Note: I placed the black Xs so I could post "safely" at work, those are not tattoos, although they might as well be. But I'm not saying anything. I think the photos say it all. BTW - Yes, this really is a woman...in case you were wondering...like the many before you...just saying is all...no judgements.

Uhm, the "Play With Me" is also not a tattoo.

Happy Valentine's Day, I Guess

2007-02-14T10:25:00.000-06:00

Fucking blogger MADE me upgrade my blog to google. Now my blog is fucked up. My side bar is screwed. And now I can't post videos anymore from YouTube. So here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJeD2EJ6TlA&feature=RecentlyWatched&page=1&t=t&f=b

B/C Natalie Said I Had To

2007-02-12T17:36:00.000-06:00

AND

AND JUST FOR FUN:

http://www.myheritage.com

AND

AND JUST FOR NAT HERSELF B/C SHE DIDN'T LIKE THE ONES THAT CAME UP FOR HER THE FIRST TIME

More Ski Pics B/C They're Just So Darn Purty

2007-02-12T13:01:00.000-06:00

I'm lucky I have hands left after these, it was so friggin' cold & windy out.

Your Lucky Number For This Week Is Nine.

2007-02-09T13:59:00.000-06:00

Is what my fortune cookie told me on Tuesday.

So far today:
1. I caught the bus to the el this morning soon as I stepped outside which NEVER happens (and I was late so this helped a lot).

2. I caught the el right when I walked up the steps.

3. My meeting today to review new creative that is being presented next Tuesday went well. The ADs actually listened to me for once and created pieces that can be produced within budget. But we also found out that our quantity may increase from 500M to 1MM! So the crazy ideas they wanted to do first may actually be an option now. Sound chips, lenticulars, crazy folds & die cuts whoohoo!

But so far today I think the best part has been:

4. Was shamelessly hit on waiting in line at Potbellys by an 18 year oldish out of state just visiting boy!

The kid had some balls. So I'm standing in line and these 2 kids are right in front of me. The cuter of the 2 starts telling his buddy about some girl he knows or met and how she has "one of those butterfly tattoos on her back. Yeah yeah a tramp stamp. Ohhh maan thats hot." Now thats the only part of their conversation I heard. Next thing I know a couple minutes later the guy turns around to me, as I'm looking up at the menu, actually leans one arm on the counter makes eyes at me and just blurts out:

HIM: Sooo (I swear I saw a wink wink in there but I could be improvising after the fact here)whats good on the menu?

Now my first instinct was to shoot back "me" but I know this kid is a KID and it questionably whether high school or college so,

ME: All of it actually.

HIM: What are you gonna have? (totally eyeballing me now. But who wouldn't, I was looking super cute today in my super cute hat that almost got me super killed before the Rhett show. It flew off my head out into traffic. But you just don't let super cute hats fly off to get run over by filthy dirty cars and left for some bum to pick up at 4:30 in the morning. You stop traffic. Here check it -

ME: It's a toss up between the veggie sandwich and veggie salad.

HIM: Ohh a vegetarian then.

ME: Actually, no.

HIM: Soooo, what school do YOU go to?

ME: (trying really hard not to let my laughter drop me to the floor) Uhm, I'm done with school. (he doesn't get it) Uhm, I work now. (still confused.) I'm 32!? (we have a winner)

HIM: Ohhh. I just, uh, thought you were younger. You look younger. Yeah, I got a sister who's 21 and people always think she's like 19. You know looks a lot younger then she is.

ME: Yeah? I've aged well huh.

HIM: So really, uhm, what should I get?

HAHHAHA! "YEAH. YEAH, I'M REALLY NINETEEN." Can we say full circle people, fuuull circle. Booyah! I still got it....

Baby Baby Baby

2007-02-09T10:43:00.000-06:00

To my friends who are thinking about squeezing one of these out, my shower gift to you WILL be one of the above. (Nat, I really think yours is 2 up ^^.)

Chicago - Just a Bunch of Drunks

2007-02-08T11:21:00.000-06:00

We've just been awarded the heavy weight title for the biggest binge drinking city.

We're going out at lunch and celebrating with some car bombs. Cheers!

He May Have Sorta Sucked But He's Still Hot!

2007-02-08T09:57:00.000-06:00

Rhett Miller Chicago 2.7.07

Ok this is my first time uploading one of my own videos so I had no idea what I was doing and it took forever to load. I also have no idea how to make it not sideways. Deal with it. This also wasn't the better vid that showcases the creepy old, balding guy that was front row center singing every word gazing up at Rhett with thems crazy eyes. I wonder what Rhett thought about that? He was probably just as creeped out as the rest of us and thats why he cut out early from meeting with the fans. He was probably afraid he'd get cornered and manhandled. Or maybe he shot his load on those 2 average looking sluts that cut in front of us. I'll post that other vid tonight...of the creepy guy that is.

In addition, here are the other pics from the night. Oddly, the very cute one of Concert Josh and TR didn't upload. Not sure what happened there. Maybe its some sort of a sign.

Nice.

And naughty.

I'm not an action shot photographer. Sue me.

We just liked the throwing up stained glass guy. Plus we had to find a way to not focus on the dirty diaper shit smell that was suffocating the front row. What is it with me and shit smells at concerts lately??

Ok so at the beginning of the show during the switch off from sucky opener to Rhett, who in some people's opinions may have been just as sucky, it sounded like they were playing Michael Jackson's Thriller. Then at the end after Rhett left the stage it sounded like they were playing it again. Hence the stance. Whatever, it was more entertaining then what we just sat through. Wait. I take that back. TR's signing, yes signing not singing, the whole show was MUCH more entertaining. That and counting CJ's facial hairs....oh yeah and learning how to clench butt dance.

Insurance Claim

2007-02-07T12:41:00.000-06:00

I wish I could take credit for this find but alas I can not. Credit to PE. PE was trying to catch a cab Sunday to go to his SB party when this drove past him. He actually ran up to the car and then past it a half a block so that he could get the shot when the car had to stop at a stop sign. The car looked fairly new, it’s real spray paint and the girl driving it looked extra pissed when she saw Paul shakily trying to take the picture laughing his ass off. It's extra funny now that the Bears lost. Segue - Yes, the Bears lost it. Yes, Grossman did not have a good game. But it is so sad to see the majority solely blaming him for the loss. "bullshit BULLSHIT." The whole team and the coaches are all to blame. I've said it before, Grossman is young and inexperienced. He's good but he doesn't have the years and expertise under his belt yet. And people seem to quickly lose sight of the fact that #1 this is his rookie year and more importantly #2 he did get us to the Superbowl for fucks sake!! Next year he will be more refined, just give him the chance.

* * * * * * * *

Ski pics from Winter Park, CO last weekend. It was so windy that the snow was blowing up hill. So hard that when I went down the green runs (for my sis) that if you put your arms out the wind could almost stop you still.

Don't the kids look thrilled at the end of the day? Really, they did have fun, they were just tired.

Tonight:

and

and more

It's cold outside, huh, wha'? I don't feel any cold...

Then for the weekend:

Maybe this will make up my mind once and for all.

I Have :02's

2007-01-26T10:32:00.000-06:00

before my next meeting sooo -

I'm 99.9% sure the booble will be just fine. Thanks for the support! But it's been like that for as long as I can remember, not sure why she never noticed it the last 5 years I've seen her. It'll be no biggie. Besides I have a million other things to occupy my mind lately, like: PE's bday tomorrow and his family coming to the condo for the 1st dinner ever, cleaning, shopping, cooking, what thing the kids will break when they are there, again flying out to MN on Sunday till Monday, reinterviewing for my current position due to the merger that is finally official...the list goes on.

My allergies have been pretty tame lately and I haven't taken any of my $200 drugs yet. CJ - I don't remember the names but it was a steroid, antibiotic, nasal spray (Nasenex, I remember this one), another drug I can't remember what is for and an antacid (I have no idea why he gave me this). I do think one of them started with a Z though.

TR - I'll call you when I have some actual time here. When is Mr. Miller's show, Feb 7? I'm all over him, uhm, IT.

GO BEARS!

Yes, I'm Still Here...Barely

2007-01-22T12:41:00.000-06:00

Ok, first:

Second:
I'm supposed to be in CO skiing that weekend with my sis and her family. When we booked I didn't even think Superbowl. I'm debating on if I should rebook flights to come home early Sunday for the game. It would be some work and extra money and probably some hurt feelings if I do. I'm torn.

No new car yet. I am actually concerned now that the parking spot I am renting may not fit the Mustang or the Mazda. I've measured and technically they should fit but its gonna be tight. If the mirrors fold in then no problem but I know they don't on the Pony and I think they do on the Mazda. PE claims the Benz won't fit and if that doesn't fit I may be back on the streets. I have to park the Benz and see if I can fit it in there. He's not used to parking in my spot so maybe I have a chance.

Went to the doctor today and she felt a lump in my left booble. She thinks its only a cyst. Very common. I go back in about 5 weeks for a reevaluation. Can I just have ONE MORE THING added to my list of worries?! Seriously. Oh yeah, I can. I went to an allergist and it's confirmed I have allergies. The kind you really can't do anything about. He gave me a bunch of drugs that cost me out my nose (ha) but I haven't taken any yet. And yes, these were on a prescription plan. I can almost guarantee that if these cost me this much I won't be refilling. Back to OTC Clariton D and Afrin.

Also, Jen, I know its belated but HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you had fun on Saturday. I want details and we promise to meet up with you to celebrate in the that "special" way that we talked about.

Ok, ok, here's a nice picture...sheesh.

Bring on the Auto Show

2007-01-07T18:43:00.000-06:00

I'm actually kind of sad. For 8 years this has been my car. We've been through a lot. But then happy b/c I'll get to have a nice, new, shiny one to replace it but then sad b/c I'll be back to car payments every month for like forever.

Sold it to the person I said was perfect for, a college student...from Houston of all places (her fam lives in NW IN). I placed my updated ad on Craigs List late Fri afternoon, she called Sat afternoon and looked at it Sun at noon. She showed up with her dad, mom AND grandma. Nice family, also no negotiating, they just paid what I asked (which was a fair price, although they don't know about the $2M worth of work it WILL need SOON. I feel kinda guilty....but not THAT guilty about it. Hey they could have asked to take it to a mechanic for a once over.). So after the girl said this was the nicest car they have looked at, and we got past grandma excitedly asking to see "that huge rock on my finger!" and we established "yes, yes it is very expensive to live here," we went to the bank. "Buyer Beware" and "As Is" were my 2 most favorite phrases today, oh yeah, and "I prefer cash." Paul didn't think I'd get even close to what I was asking. HA! Who knew I'd be such a stellar saleswoman.

I tested this on Sat. I think I'm past theMustang phase now, although someday...

More for the money, comparable to the Accord and, unlike Honda, Mazda has great rebates & incentives. Which will only be more come February. Decisions, decisions. 2007 is already shaping up to be a better year then last.

What's Been Going On

2007-01-02T13:30:00.000-06:00

Besides not having the time nor the inclination to post, all this:

Finally Up Now:

For Sale. What dent? Hole? What hole, there's a hole?:

In the lead to be My Little Pony*:

*Without V8. Come on, do you really think I'll be dragging the quarter mile in the city?? Unecessary. Also, probably the closest to a horse that I'll have in a long time.

My Sis surviving Colorado Blizzard(s):

Colorado Xmas:

The fence was completely necessary to keep the kids out. "Buut Moom, all we want to do is just separate them." Uh huh.

They Look Innocent Enough but they're sneaky little shits:

Yes, they need hair cuts but you try driving in like 6 feet of snow to do it.

Possibly the best xmas present ever given to a kid. Pooping Barbie Dog:

Food Goes in...

Food comes out. At first she didn't want to do it in the house b/c "it's dirty!"

My other Nephew, who coincidentally learned how to make above said dog puke in addition to eating & pooping. We know, he's a genius.:

Xmas Day (which I am happy to report that neither of us were hung over for this year):

And back to dark yet again:

New Years pics aren't posted yet but nothing special. Had some food at a friends french bistro at around 10pm, rang in the new year, back to our place for a couple cocktails and to wait for some out of towner friends to come over and crash, otherwise they would have slept in their car.

ALSO - I forgot to give a big THANK YOU! to Miss Chopsticks for my beautiful blue sake set that she sent over all the way from Japan for my b-day! I love it! Unfortunately though one of the cups was broken! But hey, all I need is a cup for me, screw everyone else! Kampai!!!!

It's Not Sipping Margaritas on a Beach

2006-11-27T23:59:00.000-06:00

but at least I'm not at work. I'm ooto all this week. It was a use it or lose it deal. My week consists of boring house chores that I have put off for over a year. Like those damn curtains. But maybe just maybe there will be a new car in my future. I need one. It's time. I just picked up my car from the shop today. I took it in to get a report on what is wrong with it. Turns out a lot. Much to their dismay I only opted to fix only one small thing, the broken gas gauge*. I mean who needs functioning U joints on ALL sides. Seriously the amount I'd spend to fix it up would be about 1/2 the amount of what the car is worth. Trust me I'm not looking forward to another car payment for the next 20 years of my life but frankly, I'm embarresed to drive what I have (not to mention it's just jinxed). I have actually witnessed clients cringe at the site of my car. So sadly after much review, I have realized that I will not be driving the new Beemer I yearn for but it will be a foreign model (F this GM crap). Honda Accord or Nissan Altima. Both safe, solid, reliable sedans. If I don't show my age, my car will. How sad is that?! Either way it will be an upgrade from what I have now and thats all I ask for.

* I guess in order to fix the gauge they had to empty the tank. Now I can't say for sure b/c it was broken when I brought it in but I should have had about a half tank of gas. When I drove off the lot it was as far empty as it could possibly go. Bastards stole my gas!!!

Jag Offs Driving Jaguars

2006-11-21T09:37:00.000-06:00

Is it a prereq to buy one of these?

This morning I was blatantly almost side swiped and cut off by one of these dickfaces. Turns out, according to his license plate, this particular dickface is our Illinois Representative #48 Mr. James H. Meyer who currently resides in probably one of the most highly populated dickfaced towns, Naperville.

Hi Representative Dickface!

Hey everyone, did you know your Dad drives like a dick?

My depiction of how it got did this morning at Ashland & Armitage:

Clearly he was being a jag off. Only jag offs sit in that spot not to mention without indicating if they are going to turn right or move to the left and go straight. Given the ambiguous nature of his poor driving skills, this gives you the automatic right to move on up. So in I did. But once he recognized I was pulling in he immediately was struck with a case of the me first mentality and he abruptly turned the wheel, gased it and came within inches of hitting my car as he greedily decided he wanted the spot I was in. Dickface. At least I was in PEs car so if he runs the plates he'll be the one in trouble. Sorry Dear!

Go Ahead, Wish Me

2006-11-14T15:12:00.000-06:00

It's my birthday today. I finally have begun to feel old. Luckily though, I don't look it...or so people tell me.

And what better way to celebrate my birthday then laughing at the misfortune of an acquaintance of ours (complete idiot and it was a matter of time anyway) who was arrested for soliciting a prostitute here in my own beloved city. You can find more of him at: http://www.chicagopolice.org/ps/list.aspx

Say cheese Stein.

$ $ $ $ $ $ $

What a 32 year old of my caliber looks like:

Not the best shot of me but it was the only one I could download from my camera before it died on me. My new battery charger crapped out. May that thief rot in hell. But hey at least you know what to get me for my birthday.

P.S. Mr. Whisks - Mommy thanks you for the beautiful red roses you sent her at work. You're the bestest kitty in the whole wide world!

Anyone Else

2006-11-10T09:47:00.000-06:00

feel like they are slowly being poisoned Flowers in the Attic style? Instead of my usual tasty cup of coffee that I have just about every single morning since my first day on my first job I'm indulging in this

I was out sick on Wed (puking so hard that I broke thousands of tiny blood vessels in my face which are still visible today), my boss was out yesterday, the girl I share an office with is out today along with my boss for at least half the day, the guy down the hall was out for a couple days last week, seriously what is going around??!! I feel like ass and my stomach is making weird noises that scare me. On top of this, on my way in to work today I heard Grease on the radio so now that whole soundtrack is playing in my head "there are worse things I could do then go with a boy or twooo..."

But more importantly just to set the stage early on, anyone going to my gathering tomorrow, I can not guarantee that I won't spend the whole time in the bathroom. Consider yourself forewarned.

Rah Rahh Go Team!

2006-11-07T13:13:00.000-06:00

I had to attend a work function last night at ESPN Zone. It was to celebrate the agency's big Wal-Mart win. One of the largest agency wins in the US. It's huge. So due to the magnitude of this awesomeness, Mayor Daley popped in for a bit to mingle (although I just missed him) as well as this goofy named Chicago Bear:

Adewale Ogunleye and his signature expression.

He was signing mini plastic footballs with our logo and Wal-Mart's on it and taking pictures. I guess that must be some really hard, strenuous work b/c by the time I got up to him he didn't say hello, had a very obvious "get the fuck away from me" look on his face and actually moaned when we asked if I could get a picture.

I don't know, I guess he is smiling.

After these festivities I made my way over to the Cobra Lounge to rock out with one of our not so popular bands, Sound of Urchin. When the drummer came over to hang out with us before the show I promptly knocked over not 1 but 2 of my drinks in front of him like a complete spazz. All due to the enormously long straws they were using not b/c of being "star" (hahaha) struck. Really, they just got in the way. But I was made to feel less spazztic later on when PE and one of our other friends followed suit with the whole spilling of the drinks game.

So now I'm at work. I had to drag myself in. I was going to call it a day half way through but as you can see thats not working out as I planned. I'm tired, hung over and dizzy. I just want to go home. BTW PE behaved all proper like for those of you who are wondering.

Speaking of PE, we learned how extensive the hole in his nose is. We can actually pull a piece of floss through it. I'd post the picture but it disgusts even myself. Fun with recovering drug addicts. You learn something new every day!

10 Things You Didn't Know About Me

2006-11-06T11:29:00.000-06:00

What?! Do you have anything better to blog about lately? Yeah, that's what I thought. Now shut it and read it.

1. I have a tendency to start reading books but stop a 1/4 way through and not pick it back up until months, sometimes a year or more later.

2. I refer to my cat as Whisks or Mr. Whisks (not his real name).

3. My husband is a recently pronounced recovering drug addict. Isn't married life great?! Seriously, I still love him but now who am I going to do my drugs with??

4. I've met with a head doctor twice but am not impressed and prob won't go any more.

5. My brother used to chase me around the house with this:

because he knew it scared the bajeezus out of me. To the point where I would bawl (the inside is even scarier but I can't find pics of it). I still find it disturbing.

6. I was a flautist in elementary school. A band nerd. And the one time only exclusive big recital where I had a solo part, I left my flute at school. This after the band director told us a bazillion times that day to not forget and leave your instrument at school. Which coincidentally, was the only time I ever left it at school.

7. I won a blue ribbon while show jumping a retired race horse named Sly Guy.

8. Instead of correcting silly, ignorant tourists when they look up in amazement at this building

and murmur to their friends and family (like they really know) "that's the Sears Tower," I just laugh at them and keep walking.

9. I hate doing probono work even though I should feel good about it.

10. And, as recently witnessed by my sister this year, although I love going to haunted houses, I act like such a scared wuss once inside. I cling to the arm of whoever is with me, scream the whole way through, actually whine outloud "why do they keep following me?!" in front of the monsters/actors, and basically run through the house not stopping to take it all in. $14 for about 5 minutes of scare. She was a little disappointed.

# # #

I'm slow, blog is slow. I blame it on the weather and #3.

A parking spot opened up in my building for cheap. PE & I were all over it and it's mine mine mine now. Renting only of course but prob for as long as I want it or until the guy sells his place. Just in time for winter. No plow mishaps, no worries of no parking when snow is 2 inches or more, dumb people who can't park in snow and hit my car and leave big holes in my bumper, no cleaning off car in the middle of a snow storm, no shoveling out where people have shoveled me in, no meters and no drunk people peeing on it, scratching it, pulling off mirrors or whatevs. For at least 6 months pure parking bliss. I hope my car fits in the space....

My work has given us the week between x-mas and new years off, paid. Now that's a good bonus.

My birthday is in 8 days. I'll still be nineteen...

2006-10-17T16:08:00.000-05:00

Bears/Cardinals Week 6 Highlights

Bad (very bad) & good. I almost pee'd my pants during that punt return. Wow. Go Bears!

It Dropped

2006-10-09T12:22:00.000-05:00

but it didn't land where I thought it would and it's no where near my Father. Dad is home and doing well. My whole new set of problems is unrelated. Expected yet not. I'm blown away by it is one way to put it. I'm not ready to talk about it yet. But once again, I'll be MIA for awhile.

Just Waiting for the Other Shoe

2006-10-04T11:05:00.000-05:00

My Dad had his surgery last Friday. I've been in and out of the hospital. He's doing well. We've had some ups and downs. Its not at all what we expected. Its been so hard and stressful. I can't really say what we all expected, just not this. It's kind of both ways, some good some bad. For one, the incision is just sooo much bigger then we thought, not sure what we were thinking, probably blocking it from our minds. But I will not rest easy until he is home and healed (or unless I'm drugged, which has been needed to sleep).

I'm back at work but on call at all times if I am needed there for any reason, no questions asked. I am hopeful he will be home this weekend but we just don't know. I can say this, I think that taking my EMT classes before all of this has actually helped me through all of this. Knowing vital signs, oxygen levels, certain drug names, what they do, side effects, comfort positions, terminology etc. has helped me cope with what is going on and in return putting my family at ease (being able to explain and agree with the doctors & nurses and reassure them that they aren't bullshitting us or sugar coating stuff). If I didn't know all of this I'm sure I'd be a complete wreck.

I am also discouraged by what I see in the hospital with regard to nursing care. Some have been great and a handful have been terrible. Being lazy, not looking at his chart so missing doses of meds he needs and not ordering up treatments scheduled by the doctors, not coming in often to check status (once in a shift!), ignoring calls to come to the room for more then 20 minutes, handling him rough when he was super sensitive to pain etc. I can't imagine what it would be like to have what my Dad has had done and not have family or close friends there to pick up the slack from the nurses or to hunt them down for info or to remind them of what they are supposed to be doing or not doing.

I seriously doubt he would be at the level he is without OUR care. I understand there is a shortage for nurses but that shouldn't mean that any idiot can get a license to do it. These people are dealing with life and death situations post op. One missed does of a required needed med at a specific time can spiral a patient into a MCI (heart attack) or whatever. A patient dives into that, the machine starts to beep to alarm you but if you don't respond to it till 20 minutes later you're dead. It's very scary. The body is unpredictable. Stable one minute unstable the next for no apparent reason. I haven't wanted to leave my Dad's side for these simple facts. Thankfully we are able to do shifts.

Bottom line, we are very lucky so far. I have been wearing my lucky horseshoe charm every day and today actually picked up a shiny penny that I found heads up. I'll take and particiapte in anything that is said to bring good luck right now!

Now - even through all of this I can share one funny story. The day after the surgery we are bedside with the resident Doctor talking to us about whats going on. We were talking for about 5 minutes and the Dr said something that made me ask some sort of a medical question, something a nonmed person wouldn't ask. He looked directly at me for the first time and and asked "oh, are you in the medical field or a..." I interrupted and said I was just an EMT. He literally turned around to me, stuck out his hand and said "Hi my name is Ben, nice to me meet you." He basically spoke to me the rest of the time and seemed to be just a little more informative. Funny how those 3 little letters change things a bit....

Austin, Texas

2006-09-21T12:42:00.000-05:00

EDIT: I forgot this one. I really hope this guy was in a band or something.

Nono #1 - Tattooed nylon seams on the backs of your calves. Bonus if they're not straight.

Nono #2 - Skirts that are way too short and you know that you shouldn't be wearing them no matter how many times your Mom said you're just big boned. Bonus if a gust of wind blows said skirt up (sorry, my shutter speed wasn't fast enough).

Nono #3 - Uhm, well, hmm, No.

Yeah, yeah, I'm already going to hell so what's a few more pictures going to do??

For the ladies, look over my shoulder. No, the other way.

Amiee Mann. Sorry we never got up front for any of the bands we saw.

Willie.

Bartender Scott that our friends bribed to shamelessly hit on me as soon as PE & I walked in the door. I wasn't supposed to know either but they let me in on it. Good thing b/c it made it much more believable. Purpose was to annoy PE and make him angry or jealous or both. Hey, it wasn't my idea.

Bartender Scott chatted me up, complimented me, then the rose seller guy walked by. I jokingly asked PE if he was going to buy me one (knowing he wouldn't and besides I hate carrying them around). Scott picked up on it and bought one "secretly" for me. Rose guy comes over and in front of PE says to pick one b/c someone bought one for me. As we all did the "figure out who bought it" game Bartender Scot "fessed" up so thats when I leaned over to thank him and get my picture with him.

Next Bartender Scott said everyone had to do a shot and that he was buying mine so not to worry about that one. Once the shot came he served it up on a napkin with what was supposed to look like his phone number. PE had to go outside for a cigarette. His buddies right behind him to let him in on the joke before it got too far. Bartender Scott had to ask if PE really was mad and if I thought he was going to come back and fight with him. I laughed. PE came back and Bartender Scott apologized a million times to him and made sure PE knew he wasn't serioulsy hitting on his wife. Good times. Good times.

+ + + + + + +

Oh yeah, I passed my EMT test. I passed, I passed, I passed! Found out in Austin. One of my friends called to tell me the results were posted. I couldn't wait so there at the IHOP I snagged PEs Q and looked it up. Lucky for PE that I passed b/c I would have been bummed the rest for the trip. Now I have to figure out what I want to do with it.

I'm also sick with a miserable cold now. I guess going from 95 degrees to 59 degrees didn't agree with me.

Ehhh

2006-09-14T14:29:00.000-05:00

Don't really feel like blogging lately. Busy too. No word on the EMT test yet.

We leave for Austin tomorrow, won't be back till Monday sometime. Forecast has some rain but it's ever changing for the better. No matter what I'm excited and can't wait to be out there. I love Austin.

One of our couple friends are getting married this weekend in Vegas at THE Hotel (our fav hotel). If it wasn't for ACL we'd be there. Boy I hope their's goes as well as ours did.

Bed update: The store finally delivered back to us the first bed we had and took the second away. Just looking at it you can see the diff in the pillow top thickness. After further review, it really is a completely different line/model of bed. And, to top it off, its not even the one wrote up originally on our sales receipt. Personally, I'm sure the bed we sat on in the store is indeed the one we have now. I just think Mr. Slimy Bodily Fluids Sales Guy, Bob, was too preoccipied with our (read mine) fluids, wrote our order up wrong. So our first delivery even though it was the bed we wanted wasn't what was on our original order which is why our replacement was wrong. All I know now is it's finally time to let sleeping dogs lay.

I'm sure I'll have stories and pictures to share when I get back....if I feel like it. Ciao!

Come ON

2006-09-08T16:49:00.000-05:00

Seriously? I thought this would be a blink and its over but it's not. It's strutting around up and down Michigan Ave. I think I'll sit this one out...again.

I'm Addicted to Plastic Surgery

2006-09-07T12:38:00.000-05:00

4th procedure

If you didn't see it, watch a rerun. Expect another season filled with delectable sex, lies, cover ups and scandal. Also addicting, this damn song.

Other goings on:
Blood red nail polish married to my beige bedroom carpet. Attempts of removing turned it from stuck pig red to pepto bismol pink to a bleached orange. And NO it is not in a spot that I can just casually throw a rug over. Besides I would know it was still under there and it would just eat and eat away at my brain.

New cell phone acquired with new carrier. Sprint can suck it. I was sold on the best network out there so it better, ahem, ring true, Verizon. Upgraded camera features and video. Video, I can only imagine what I'll record....

Pencils Down

2006-08-31T15:20:00.000-05:00

I took my National EMT exam yesterday...barely.

2 interesting things happened on this test day.

1. Dear PE did me a favor by moving my car into the garage spot b/c his car is in the shop. But when he handed over his keys to the shop, he neglected to take off his house keys. So when he left for work yesterday he took my house keys (since I would be home after him). Well when I went to grab my keys to leave, it dawned on me I need those keys to get in to the garage to get to my car. All the doors are locked to get in to it. I thought I was going to have to knock on all my neighbors doors to see if one could let me in. Which is something I really didn't want to do given our current "hightened security" issue going on. Lucky for me it didn't come to that. My neighbor came down on her own and let me in. So I made it to my test on time.

Fast forward to me 1/2 way through taking the test, sitting in my desk, freezing my ass off, freaking out b/c this test is harder then I thought and I swear I'm not gonna pass it when:

whoooop whoooop whoooooop whooooop

2. The fire alarm goes off. We all kind of look around at each other in disbelief but its true. It IS the fire alarm. They collect our tests, scoot us out the door and down the stairs outside. Luckily it only took about 20 minutes before we were back in our seats scratching our heads. Turns out some doofus burned a bag of microwave popcorn in the cafeteria.

Tests results due back in about 2 weeksish (boy that sounds like an STD problem). I honestly can't say if I passed or failed. This one will be a true surprise.

Old School Nostalgia Part 1

2006-08-23T12:00:00.000-05:00

Me in junior high with my best friend, note early stages of high hair. My Mom & Dad had to go to some Rotary weekend social event in Lake Geneva so they took me with. They let me bring a friend so I wouldn't be bored but more so they could go do their own thing without worrying about me. This meant we ran around the resort unsupervised for most of the trip. During this free for all, I met:

I can't remember this guy's name but I do remember he was a local, older then us and we chased him around all weekend. He ended up being my first REAL kiss. All wet, sloppy and tonguey. My best friend was pissed that he didn't like her and pouted the whole ride home. And yes, that is a mullet. A short one but a mullet no less.

Freshman year of high school with my new best friend at where else but the mall. As you can see, acid washed denim was high fashion, as was the high hair. Since the photo is so dark, I used a yellow line to indicate for you where our bangs actually peaked at.

Oh this is a good one. Sophomore year prom. First, let me just point out my rebellion against the high hair. Flat bangs. Now, I can't really remember why I wanted to go to this prom so bad since I only liked a handful of people going. But for some reason I did and it was already late in the game. My date ended up being the foreign exchange student (from now on labeled as FES b/c I don't remember his name either) from Honduras. At first I liked him, you know the accent and all, but by the time I got him to invite me to prom and many horrible hickies later, I hated him. I mean I wanted him deported. Turns out he was on the baseball team and ended up telling all the guys we, you know, "did it." This didn't help my already brewing early rebellious reputation. So by prom time, I already had a new beau, but didn't quite officially break it off with FES b/c I already had a dress and still wanted to go. Enter this guy:

Meet Rick. You can see the path I was heading. He too was older (18), from out of state and since I was only a sophomore I couldn't ask him to my prom (you had to be at least a junior to get the tix). But we'll get back to Rick.

So now I'm stuck going to this prom with this jerk off and I can't tell my family why I'm so pissed about going for fear of them thinking I'm "loose" and have them sit me down for a "talk." To make matters worse, since this guy is a foreign exchange student he can't drive in the US or some shit like that. So he left transportation up to me last minute. Well I don't have a car so I ended up asking my new boyfriend, information still unknown to FES, Rick to drive us. He says sure and shows up in this:

I'm triple pissed now. My first prom and it's fucked up from go. Plus, to make matters worse, I was looking forward to a nice, flowery nosegay to carry around and this dipshit shows up with a wrist corsage. In case you couldn't gauge how pissed I was in the above photo, here's a close up:

My Dad felt so bad and embarressed for me that he offered mohawk man, a guy who he has never even heard of before and looks weird (who also btw showed up with flat hair, a tweed ugly dinner jacket with a bow tie, out of respect for me), his brand new Bonneville to drive us in. Trust me, he was nervous as all hell when handing those keys over, but there was no way he was going to let his baby girl drive to her first prom in that hillbilly junker. It was worth the risk.

So long story short, Rick drove us, I ignored FES the whole time, stayed long enough to get the official prom picture, here:

Once back at the table I excused myself, went to the payphone, called Rick to tell him to come get my ass, and I promptly left my date at prom with no other ride home. I wonder when he realized I wasn't coming back? Reputation officially established. Not long after I think FES was asked to leave the country. Also, inevitably, the novelty of Rick wore off and I dumped him too. They both served their purpose at the time and I moved on.

P.S. for those of you wondering, NO I did not "do it" with FES.....I did it with Rick...just once, for experimental purposes only.

Only Things Worth Mentioning

2006-08-22T11:31:00.000-05:00

Anniversary Weekend:

Friday night - got hammered and passed out.

Saturday - spent hung over while our friend takes the host's wave runner out and brings it back smashed up. He promptly makes an early exit back to city without saying goodbye to anyone. Learn wave runner he smashed into sank.

Sunday - bought new camera (Canon Elph SD630) and realized the thief actually stole my charger with the extra battery too, which would have worked with my new camera. Toasted and drank some champagne. Happy Late 1 yr Anniversary Dear! It's been an interesting year. At least we're side by side through it all.

Monday - PE ran into the owner of the condo that the thief stayed at. Thief is in fact a half brother to the guy and genuinely didn't seem to know anything about it. He apologized profusely and PE said the guy seemed really pissed but not entirely surprised by his brother's actions. It was left as the guy was going to "look into this" and I guess get back to us with anything he finds out.

Tuesday - back at work. I come in to my office and there are these beautiful long stem red roses. I start talking to my office mate and she tells me about how bad her day was yesterday so I say well at least you got flowers (thinking they are from the guy she just started dating). She says, "those aren’t mine, they came in yesterday for you so they must be from your husband for your anniversary or something." "Really?!" I say, getting a little excited inside but she quickly says no, actually they’re for her, from the guy she is dating....silly me.

Sunnyside of the Street...Sorta

2006-08-17T13:13:00.000-05:00

They became active today. Good news, if there is to be any good news about these nuisances, is that they are Mon-Fri 9am-6pm. So at least I can park after work and on weekends without paying. Don't get me wrong, they still suck the biggest, hairiest donkey balls that exist. They also sprouted further up the street so its not just in front of our building (canceling out my theory that they were installed only b/c I live there). Can't figure out the city's reasoning of where to place them though. They kind of bounce back and forth on each side of the street. On one stretch of road they are only on the south side and then farther up only on the north side. But then again it's the city, there is no rhyme or reason to what they do. I just wonder how many times people will be running in to the White Hen across the street and asking Babul for change (and I'm not being racist, discriminatory or whatever, his name really IS Babul)? And I wonder how many times Babul will glare at them and say "Nochange. D'ou 'ave do perrchase a product. No give change."

Forecast for my weekend lake house 1 Year Wedding Anniversary get-a-way:

Friday
T-Showers
Precip: 60%
H 82 L 69

Saturday
T-Showers
Precip: 50%
H 81 L 68

Sunday
Partly Cloudy
Precip: 20%
H 78 L 62

Figures.

P.S. I have a secret MySpace Page in the works. Yes Blogger, I'm cheating on you.

Anticlimactic

2006-08-16T10:38:00.000-05:00

Hair got did but not quite all did up the way I done axed for.

Its certainly lighter but instead of dying my whole head she just brushed in a ton of blondesque highlights. I think she partly went about it this way so as to protect me from hair shock. One of the reasons why I drive 60 miles RT to continue to use her. In the end it looks good just not exactly what I was looking for. It will be a 2 step process I guess to get me to where I want to be without frying it and having it fall out. Again, I'd post a picture but you all know that story.

The picture I can post is this:

Never thought I would be so excited to pay $3.13/g for gas in my life. In the city it's at about $3.59.

GOOD DEED #3046
Also very pleased to report that I helped facilitate finding homes for all 4 of these sweet homeless kitties that someone found abandoned in an alley. I wanted to take one in so badly but Trouble would torture the poor thing and despise me for the rest of his living years from underneath a bed. Ohh spikey kitten fur and pointy tails, so hard to resist taking in 20 of them!

Don't Try to Stop Me

2006-08-15T12:41:00.000-05:00

I'm going back to blonde tonight.

My real model for back up:

Pretty close. In color that is...

Hubby should be pleased since his "list" is almost 100% blonde. To name a few:
Elisha Cuthbert
Kate Hudson (oh he's so happy they're splitting)
Jewel
Jennifer Biels (as a blonde)
Ashley Simpson (as a blonde)
Joely Richardson
Tara Reid (before she bottomed out)
Victoria Silvstedt
Kirsten Dunst
Jessica Alba (blonde)
Scarlett Johansson

It's All A Wicked Game

2006-08-11T10:56:00.000-05:00

Wicked Game

Still one of the sexiest videos ever made. It's like a fever dream.

I'll get into the concert details from last night later but more importantly did someone put a curse on me? I mean I donate to charities, I dish out money to homeless people on occassion, I return lost cell phones, I help little old ladies walk across the street (really I did this), I hold our neighbor's packages in our house so they don't get stolen, I share cabs. I do good deeds so why am I getting bombarded with this long string of bad luck? Someone PLEASE explain it to me b/c the only thing I can think of is I'm cursed.

We came home last night from the show only to find our dear City of Chicago greeting us with newly installed parking meters directly in front of our condo building. No notice no nothing just POOF and there they are. For over 10 years they have refrained from putting these up then we move in. No more free easy street parking for us. Yes there is side street parking but do I really need to go in to detail about how crowded and tough that's going to be? One of the worst parts is that on a stretch of street where normally 3 cars could park, they set it up to accomodate only 2 meters. So they have limited the parking even that much more. I had a mini melt down. Too much going on for one small girl to handle.

Now on to the concert:

Ok, first we didn't have tickets. It was a last minute add on show that I don't believe was sold out. I scored 2 tix for $75. People on Craigs list wouldn't give them up for less then $130. Face on them was $56.50 + ticketbastard fees. Score! In we go. I have never seen so many middle aged ugly women in my life. But I expected that. Show starts and 2 songs in Paul lets me go up front by myself to oogle up close.

As I make my way up I pass this MA broad and as I do she punches me in the back. Not hard but it was a half ass MA woman pussy punch. I stop and think this can't be right she must have tripped or something. I turn around and look at the dumb bitch who just hit me. I ask her did you just punch me. She weakly says yeah, you stepped on my foot. Are you fucking kidding me? I say to her "Are you fucking kidding me?! You're at a concert, its dark, you're standing next to a step and I didn't even feel that I stepped on you plus even if I did it was an accident." She just stares at me and she looks afraid like she's waiting for me to hit her back. Now trust me, my initial instinct is to punch this cunt straight in the head but I've waited a long time to see this guy, it's only the second song so I chose not to. I yell at her some more and people are staring. I tell her that if she just would have said ouch or tapped me and said you stepped on my foot, you know made some other effort to let me know besides punching me I would have apologized but now FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING CRAZY BITCH and I walked away.

I'm upfront right under Chrissy. He's hot, he's sexy it's great. Except for the overpowering pungent smell of cheap cologne and horse shit burning my nose. I kid you not. Horse shit. The cologne I get but shit?? Ironic, huh? But no problems. I watched him croon Wicked Game directly to me, yes ME. Well, me some of the time. Then I got bored and went back to find PE.

He was back by the merch table. He bought me a shirt. He said Chrissy comes back after the show and signs stuff (only stuff you bought there). I was first in line . Blah blah blah, Chrissy makes his way back. He practically runs me down to get behind the table, stands in front of me, automatically signs the shirt not even looking at me yet, as he does I tell him good show, its nice to finally see it and when will the Showtime DVD come out (he had a show for awhile in case you didn't know), he mumbled something I didn't understand, he stands up, finally looks at me, shakes my hand (he has nice hands) and says "you have really pretty eyes" then moved along to the next fat MA blob next to me. The Man in the Suit with the piercing beautiful blue eyes said that I have pretty eyes. Then we go home to find the parking meters. Lovely topper to what could have been a decent night.

As for a review he sounded great live but his bassist bugs me. Only way I can describe him is he just tries too hard. What I didn't expect though of Chrissy was that for a man who is revered as such a sexy man could be such a geek. He would pose and sing in his sexy way then turn around and do some stupid ass chicken leg kick or something. Or in bewteen songs it was like he was trying his hand at being a stand up comedian. He would have you locked in his dreamy spell, then whiplash you out of it by doing or saying some of the most unsexiest stupid things. That's why I didn't stay up there for very long. I didn't want to ruin this vision or persona of him that I savor in my head. I salvaged what I could and now also have that he thinks MY eyes are pretty.

I can't say never but I can confidently say I will most likely never go to another show. I've had my Chris Isaak fix. I'd have taken some pictures for posting but wait, yeah thats right MY FUCKING CAMERA WAS STOLEN.

P.S. PE the part you didn't understand in Wicked is "This world is only gonna break your heart." Isn't that the truth...

Bribes, Sexual Favors & More!

2006-08-10T11:14:00.000-05:00

It's O-fficial. I'm all passed up in my class. Yes I know I said I passed earlier but that was just the written. We still had practicals to do last night. But if you pass the written you should pass the practicals (you'd be a dumb ass & should rethink a different career if you didn't). Either way, my partner and I kicked ass and they said so. In our triage station they told us we were the best & quickest with our tagging and rapid assessments. This called for celebration so I finally went out after class. We met up with a group of our fellow classmates and our instructors for drinks. A few beers later and some mouths loosened up.

We chatted up the guy who is what I can best describe as the "TA" for the class (teachers assistant). He said he was offered cash on 6 occasions from 6 different people in return for him to pass them in the class (he was in charge of grades). One person offered him as much as $500. And on top of that he was offered sexual favors if he passed one person (he did not divulge if this offer came from a man or woman).

Then the "big boobied wasn't so popular growing up but is now at 38 only b/c of the big bought boobies which brought about a never before seen sluttiness always volunteered to play patient on stage look at me butterface girl" happily interjected that she tried all semester to kiss his ass b/c she thought it might influence him & her grade. Then proceeded to proudly say she's made out with at least 3 other guys in the class. Which one of the guys I know for a fact ain't as proud of it as she is and as a matter of fact made people swear not to talk about it (yeah right).

And there was the program director's 21 yr old niece who looks like she could be an Olsen twin triplet who also helped out with grades that hooked up with one of the 27 yr old guys. Last night he bought her a beer sampler and was "teaching" her about beer. Yeah, teaching her how to get shitfaced so he could finger bang an Olsen Twin lookalike in the back alley. Sorry, prob not but it sounded funny. She's a nice kid.

Kudos to the TA for resisting all tempatations, or so he says. If he did or not oh well, I know I passed on my own ligit merit. All those who bribed, not surprisingly, failed the class.

* * * * * * * *

No new news on the thief. But if anyone has any brilliant ideas of things we should say or do to him next time we see him, post it.

The replacement bed the furniture shop sent in isn't as good as the first one we had. It's supposed to be a super plush pillowtop but its not so super and its not so plush. I'm working on bed #3.

Supposed to see Chris Isaak tonight at HOB. Passing my class and swooning over his dreamy voice are 2 good pick me ups that I so desperately need but we'll see. I'm tired as all get up (it's like my body knows class is over and wants to collapse) and PE is about to parlayze himself with some unexplained neck injury. We're just both ready to throw in the towel. Boy, moving to the country sure sounds pretty good now.....

Good News Bad News Game

2006-08-08T14:55:00.000-05:00

Good News: I passed my EMT class. Which means I am allowed to actually take the National exam in 3 weeks.
Bad News: I don't think I can swing paramedic school....just yet.

Good News: Cops came out again to knock on the filthy thief's door.
Bad News: No one answered...again.

Good News: I took delivery of all my replacement furniture today.
Bad News: There is STILL a hole in the new couch. Just one on the bottom in the back. They'll try to fix this one. I'm still pissed but not as much if I hadn't been robbed.

Good News: My car still runs.
Bad News: The gas gauge is broken so I have no idea for how long it will continue to run.

Good News: My 1 year wedding anniversary is coming up in 12 days.
Bad News: PE doesn't have his wedding ring to celebrate with. Nor will he ever have it again.

We Were Robbed!!!

2006-08-07T13:32:00.000-05:00

If you can believe it. Just another bad thing to add to my list.

PE went down to get a newspaper at about 4:30am on Friday morning. He left our door resting open (just up against the door jam). He came back up and saw a guy with his hand on our doorknob closing our door shut. NO ONE DOES THIS IN our building, if you see a door open you leave it b/c they might be in the trash chute and you could lock them out of their house and YOU JUST DON'T TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE'S DOORS! PE asked him what he was doing and the guy backed away and repeated it back to Paul. Paul locked himself in the condo, checked on me who was drug sleeping upstairs (meaning I didn't hear a damn thing).

We didn’t notice anything missing until Saturday morning. In less then 5 minutes that it took PE to go downstairs and back up, the asshole stole my digital camera and the USB cable that was next to it, PE's Movado watch he bought on our honeymoon, his silver bracelet, his ipod and…his wedding ring. Best part is we KNOW who he is. PE saw him come out of a condo 2 doors down from us on the opposite side the next day. PE was at the elevator and the guy actually came up to him and confronted him “I don’t know what you think but it sounds like you were accusing me of something, I didn’t do anything, I was just closing your door which was wide open” (which it is too heavy and will never stay wide open lies lies lies why wouldn't you just say that the night of when asked what you were doing instead of backing away and not answering the question and acting guilty). PE just said whatever and tried his best not to punch the guy in the head.

Never seen him in the building before. He says he’s visiting his sister and that he’s a military cop on leave. We called the cops and one came Sat night but wouldn’t go up and search him (and the guy was home) b/c they said we didn’t actually see him come out of our place. All he did was take a report.

Well this morning that cop's sergant called us and came over with 3 other big cops to ask more questions and to search that place but the guy didn’t answer his door. Now all we can do now is watch for the owner of the condo (who we know and is a nice guy but we haven't seen in awhile) or the asshole robber guy and when we see him call the sergant and he’ll hopefully hurry over.

So much more detail to the story but I’m not typing it out. Yes Paul shouldn’t have had the door open but everyone does it there and no one has every had anything stolen nor should we have to worry about stuff like this in a secured condo building. The ex president of our association was proud and loud about the fact she never locked her door.

In the mean time we are telling all our neighbors. One said they have never locked their doors in 5 years but will be now. The other said he actually did see a guy wearing camouflage that matched our description who he had never seen before.

I'll report back whatever happens.

I Hate My 30's

2006-08-03T09:41:00.000-05:00

Seriously. Nothing good about them, so far at least. If this is any indication of what the future holds then I don't want to see it. Or maybe its just that 2006 is just a really shitty year, because it has been. Maybe that's where the hope stems from on New Years Eve for people. The whole "tomorrow is another day." But the thing is, yes tomorrow is another day but its just another shitty day sometimes shittier then the day before. Or how about the people that say "well if we didn't have bitterness how do you know what's sweet?" Fuck that.

I'm just tired. I'm tired of struggling, I'm tired of selfish people, I'm tired of faking being ok, I'm tired of "friends" blowing me off, I'm tired of worrying about money, I'm tired of people thinking I'm still a kid because I don't have a kid yet, I'm tired of thinking about the fact that I'm just not where I should be at this point in my life (even though I'm not really sure what that is), I'm tired of worrying about job security, I'm tired of having to explain myself, I'm tired of trying to explain others and their actions, I'm tired of not being able to sleep, I'm just tired period.

I don't even have $1 for the good coffee today. Not even in change....

Melmar Is...

2006-07-25T14:28:00.000-05:00

"A wonderful female pixie with goddess like beauty. She is known to be very cute (or kawaii as they say in japanese). She is also sweet and caring. Also known to have very adorable squeaks and say very cute grrr's.

Melmar is UBER-KAWAII!!!"

Don't believe me, check it out: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Melmar

**************************

I need some extra cash. This is what I've come up with so far:
1. Cocktail waitress
2. Cocktail waitress at a strip club (clothed of course, barely but all naughty bits covered. That is until I get really drunk one night and slurr out "I kin do betterrr thaany of them slutzzz" and jump on stage.)
3. Do a quick photo shoot and submit a raunchy picture of myself to attempt to win a contest for the cover of a radio station calendar.
4. Fly to Florida and enter as many wet t-shirt contests as possible.
5. Set up a side bar, a paypal account and just ask people for donations.
5. Sell my eggs.

STAT

2006-07-21T14:00:00.000-05:00

Because this shot is so pretty I'm keeping it at the top.

I found a nurse's blog that I read from time to time and I must say, I understood everything she wrote below and even concluded with the same treatment the doctor advised before I read it. I really am learning something in class.

3:45 am: My patient with the triple bypass surgery goes into a rapid atrial fibrillation at 150 beats per minute. Get EKG and vitals STAT.
3:50 am: Call Dr. T. and receive orders to give the patient a cardizem bolus IV. Heart rate still too high in the 150s with oxygen saturation dropping to 89% on 2L of oxygen per nasal canula. I try to administer the cardizem, only to discover that his IV, which worked one hour ago, was blown.
3:55 am: My colleague and I are still trying to start an IV.
4:00 am: My other patient's blood transfusion finishes and her IV machine is beeping annoyingly loud.
4:05 am: I finally get an IV and administer the cardizem.
4:10 am: The heart rate is still in 140s. I want it below 100. I proceed to start a cardizem drip to help reduce the heart rate.
4:15 am: Other patient's IV machine is still beeping.4:20 am: Bypass dude's oxygen saturation is still only 89% on 5L of oxygen. Heart rate is in the 110s. Lungs sound clear. WTF?
4:25 am: Um, can someone please turn off the beeping IV machine?
4:22 am: Wonderful colleague looks at my transfusion lady's orders and gives her lasix, flushes her IV, and turns off the machine.
4:25 am: Page Dr. T., and give update. Bypass dude has orders for lasix and a non-rebreather mask. Carry out orders.
4:30 am: Bypass dude's heart rate jumps into the 160s. Check on patient to find him standing up to pee into a urinal. Proceed to tell patient he shouldn't stand or else his heartrate will go up. Patient states he can't pee unless he's standing up.
4:33 am: Heartrate back into the 100s.
4:40 am: Heartrate up in the 160s again. Patient is standing up to pee again. Damn lasix.4:43 am: Get orders to insert foley catheter into bypass dude so he doesn't have to stand up to pee.
4:45 am: Transfusion lady spikes a fever of 101.2 F. WTF?
4:55 am: Patient #3 aka dude with heparin infusion starts bleeding from an old blood draw site and stains his gown and the bed. WTF?
5:00 am: Patient #4 aka has a blood pressure of 201/104. WTF?????5:01 am: Page Dr. K. for transfusion lady5:02 am: Page Dr. H. for patient # 4
5:03 am: Dr. T. calls me and asks for an update on atrial fibrillation dude.5:04 am: Doctors K. and H. call at the same time with orders.
5:07 am: Draw blood from heparin dude to check his PTT
5:10 am: Bypass dude's oxygen saturation is 99% on non-rebreather mask and heart rate is in the 90s. Whew.
5:14 am: Norvasc given to freakin' high blood pressure lady.5:20 am: Tylenol given to transfusion lady.
5:25 am: Clean up heparin patient, apply pressure dressing to bleeding site.6:00 am: Sit down and breathe.
6:15 am: Hypertensive lady's blood pressure is down to 178/84. Transfusion lady's temp is down to 99.8. Heparin dude has stopped bleeding. Whew.
6:30 am: Atrial fibrillation guy's heart rate converted to a normal sinus rhythm in the 80s. Oxygen saturation is 98% on a partial rebreather mask. Wheewww.6:35 am: Haul ass to audit charts and finish charting, which I normally complete by
4:00 am.
7:10 am: Give report to oncoming nurse, and say "peace out, don't call me if you need an extra nurse tonight."
7:45 am: On the way home, realize that the shift still wasn't that bad. Must be getting better at this nursing thing.

- - - - - - -

Furniture Fiasco

Finally took delivery of our brand new couch & king size bed. Too bad the couch has 2 holes in it, the bed has 1 and they didn't deliver a bed frame. When I called to ask about the frame (before I saw the holes) the smarmy sales guy that sold us this shit half ass apologized and said ohh he didn't know we wanted one of those. Yeah b/c I want to have my brand new king size bed to just sit on my floor. But since we weren't charged for one I said I'd just go up the street from my house and buy one from a mattress store. He proceeds to give me tips on what to look for in a frame. Not only did reference the act of screwing on the bed when we were choosing one he did it again. He was telling me about what to watch for in bed frames and said “well you need to get the wheels that lock. You know why? I’ll tell you why, b/c you know, when, uhm, you and your husband are home at night on the bed and uhh, well you know, it can move around.” And he did it in a whisper voice all drawn out and smutty! I wanted to throw up on my desk. I still want to throw up on my desk.

So two questions remain about this furniture store. #1 How long will the store manager jerk us around before talking to us so I can demand brand new pieces sent (none of this "oh we can just repair it" crap)? and #2 What in the world will be damaged on our china cabinet that is on back order?

New Hampshaaah

2006-07-20T10:16:00.000-05:00

This is the "Wolfman". We took the kids to a very campy tourist trap that had trained bears, vintage museums, popcorn, ice cream, bumper boats and one of those Great America type photo shops where you dress up like saloon whores. In addition they have a real steam engine train that takes you through the woods. They warn you of the Wolfman. This guy rides on out along the train and scares all the little kiddies. Funny, or sad, thing is, this isn't a costume for this guy.

The best muffin I've ever had. Cranberry. I really can't stop talking about it. We happened to stop in at the Vermont General Store (in Vermont) to grab some coffee. These were still in the baking tin and the guy behind the counter knew everyone's name that came in and was overly cheerful to the point of being a little scary. Can't get this in Chicago...well you could but you'd pay $10 bucks for it and I can guarantee it wouldn't be as good and the person who sold it to you would act like you're some kind of an asshole.

Other food highlight was stopping at some random orchard to pick fresh blueberries.

* * * * * *

Update: I passed my midterm with a higher score then most of the class and I only studied for an hour on the plane ride home. My overall avg is tight and higher then the class.

Quickie

2006-07-18T13:00:00.000-05:00

Yeah, it's been awhile. Just so much going on and so little time for it all.

I've been wrapped up between school, work and going out.

We just came back from New Hampshire. We were there over the weekend visiting family. I can't tell you how beautiful it is up there. So much so that we may just move out there, or somewhere like it. Funniest part of the whole weekend (besides my ass cheeks being covered in bug bites - picture not available) is how PE secures a whole row of seats to himself on an airplane.

Ohhh it works. It's either that or just sit in the middle seat.

Class is moving along. I learn how to pull people out of cars this Sat, next Sat is a shift in the ER and the Sat after that is a shift on the rig. I might be able to start IVs & take blood. Depends on the ER Dr. I get. I take my national exam end of August. Almost there and I'm still passing.

When my sis was in town we had some fun with the moonface mirrows at the Planetarium.

I have a wedding this Friday where I'll get to see my BFF VA out of staters. Can't wait for that! I'll get to make up for the last visit I made to them and show them I really can handle my booze. Especially since I'll have to be up at the ass crack of dawn the next morning.

It looks like next week Thur & Fri I'll be back in Minnesota. I have that Fri off with some free kick ass seats at the Cubs game so it may mean I won't be going. And yes I know how bad the Cubs stink but that doesn't mean the sun won't shine, make the beer flat or mean we can't root for the other team (St. Louis). Yea for me but we'll see. I KNEW they would schedule it on one of my days off.

I did, however, get a raise. Now that is a big yea. Makes it hard to make the leap. Prob won't for a while yet.

One of my other BFFs may be joining the forces here. For selfish reasons, I hope she accepts, then I can just go hang out in her cube and watch her blog all day.

PE & I walked around half of Lincoln Park zoo & felt bad for all the animals locked up in such small quarters. Highlights were watching a bear piss all over himself and the monkeys taking turns lifting up their tails digging around for bugs and when they couldn't grab it just diving in with their faces to munch away.

I finally have tan lines again. And finally found a beach buddy that can sit in the sun for as long as I can.

I can't even remember the other stuff. Hell it took me 3 tries to remember my password here.

I'll post more when I get around to it.

Gone Fishing

2006-06-26T14:52:00.000-05:00

# # # # #

Went out later that night with TR & Chopsticks. Look to their sites later on for some photos. Some were really....good?? Points of interest from the night jager bombs, drama, tons of photos, stranger butt smacking, more drama, dive bar access denied (reason: too drunk, yeah we don't get it either), sobriety tests, a fall on top of parked bike, immediate retreat home. I won't say who did what. But I can say I was actually sober through it all for once! Yes I'm getting all growns up. Gotta run.....

What Is It

2006-06-19T10:55:00.000-05:00

about my car that attracts people to carelessly dent it, scratch it, ram holes in it, scuff it, sideswipe it, back in to it and basically anything else that causes damage? And why is it that it always happens when I'm not in my car?

This is what greeted me on my way to work this morning:

That's my hood. Between 10:15pm last night and 9:04am this monring someone put something heavy and rough on the hood of my car then just dragged it off. Who does this?! Please tell me so I can beat the shit out of their car with a baseball bat. Seriously, if I EVER see anyone damage my car in front of me Paul is going to have to bail me out of jail b/c I've had it. As aggresive of a driver that I am, I NEVER damage anyone's car.

I mean it isn't like an '89 rusted out Nissan Sentra where these things really wouldn't be noticed or cared about. But my car is a decent middle class SUV where these ignorant, rude city drivers they are rapidly turning it into that '89 piece of crap.

Let's go back and review my luck with cars:

1. In college I went to a concert and parked in the lot. Some drunk dummy backed in to my back end and dented up the bumper.
2. That same weekend I went back to college and parked back at the dorms. Not even home 2 hours when another person swiped me b/c they didn't know how to back out of a parking spot.
3. Driving up to PE's house to visit one weekend and someone's muffler fell off 2 cars ahead of me and it flew under my car, exited to the right side denting in my door. I was on the highway so it was inevitable not to miss it.
4. Fast forward to living in the city: parked outside my apartment on a quiet cozy residential street on a summer day and someone completely side swiped the whole right side of my front to back bumper.
5. Someone dropped who knows what on the hood of my car and left a big dent (in the spot where a hood ornament would go). It looks ridiculous.
6. Dead of winter and someone played bumper cars with me trying to get out of their parking spot on the street. Damage - big ol' hole in my bumper. I didn't notice it until I wiped the snow off. This was over 2 years ago and it's still there.
7. 2 dents above a wheel well - I have no idea where these came from.
8. Not to mention all the little door dents & scratches from people swinging open their doors or pushing their carts carelessly. These I normally don't care about but couple it with the above and it bothers me.
9. And now a brand new big patch of scratches on the hood.

So again, I ask you, what is it about my little Jimmy that attracts people to treat it like a Matchbox car?

I now have to look into buying another garage parking spot. I have to. Because regardless if I fix this car or buy a new one (which I wanted to do at the end of the year) someone is going to damage it. And if that happens all the money I just put into it goes down the drain. Not to mention the damage I'll do to the person if I ever see them in the act of it. I'm sorry but I'm past the point/age where driving a piece of crap doesn't bother me. It does. I work hard and for once would like to have a nice car that I don't have to worry about someone else wrecking. It'd be different if I caused all these things then I could just be mad at myself. Why oh why can't I ever witness these things happening???

My Million Dollar Idea?

2006-06-16T15:29:00.000-05:00

Design a furry curled up cat into a pillow that when you lay on it, it purrs. I haven't decided if I want this to be a taxidermy thing or a fake cat thing or both. I know you're all thinking why didn't you think of this first but back off, it's my idea and I'm currently in the process of patenting it. You'll see, everyone will want one. Especially people who love cats but are allergic and the hairless cats just freak them out.

Disclaimer: For entertianment purposes only. Patent not in review. Give me some credit.

What's Been Going On

2006-06-13T11:59:00.000-05:00

German Fest is to Beer as I am to puking up Beer. Good times. There were pictures but anyone who posts them will die. Seriously will die a long tortured death.

One of my friends was manhandled and practically date raped by a guy who appeared to be a really nice guy on the surface. For her there really wasn't a "threat" per say, it was more merely entertaining to her to see how far this guy would go to resemble a horny inexperienced high school kid. "Yeah yeah, just a little longer, I'm almost finished." HUH? So not sexy.

I almost beat up a 45 year old lady on the el last Friday for invading my personal space. She would have deserved it and I can't believe I restrained myself. It had been a loooong week. She was sitting I was standing and she had the Tribune WIDE open leaning against my hand. This was a problem for 2 reasons 1) It is unacceptable to read the Trib wide open on a crowded el, fold that shit up 2) I can't stand having things touch me like that on the hand, it tickles and kind of itches (feels like bugs crawling on you). I politely asked her to just not rest it on my hand. Trust me, I know what some of you are thinking and it was polite and non-threatening. She wasn't having it and turned it into a big thing. We had words, I stood my ground literally, people turned to look, the lady sitting next to her chimed in and said just fold it up & I won. Turns out she got off at the same stop as me. I think she thought I was following her. If I ever see her again I'll rip her paper to shreds no questions asked.

EMT Class update: My Avg = 94% Class Avg = 91%
I'd be very careful about pissing me off and passing out around me now. I can shove tubes down your nose or mouth now....you know, for practice.

Also, I am in desperate need of a long vacation on a hot beach.

Thank you!

2006-06-02T13:57:00.000-05:00

Thank you to all who posted here and talked to me offline about the below post. It does help to hear your reassuring thoughts. I'm sure everything will be ok but the shock of hearing such bad news takes awhile to wear down and then get used to the thought of the news itself. Like I said keeping busy helps with taking your mind off it. After all there really isn't anything else you can do but keep on moving along and deal with stuff as it happens. So thanks!

P.S. My company here did merge with another agency in the city. Who knows what will happen now. I'm sure people will be let go and fired at some point. But #1 I don't think that will happen until at the earliest end of the year and #2 I THINK my position is secure. Let's hope so. Even if it 's not, at least I have already begun my back up plan....

No, Just Don't.

2006-05-25T11:07:00.000-05:00

This will never be a good look. For anyone.

# # # # # #

I received some bad family news last night. I do not want to talk about it for 2 reason's. Family privacy and b/c I'll fall apart if I do, which of course would destroy my whole tough girl image. So don't ask. Things seem to be very positive that everything will be ok. Only time will tell.

In the mean time humor I find is really one of the only things that I can cling to to keep spirits up (for me and for everyone else) and keeps the brain from wandering into dangerous destructive territory. I just don't know how else to handle tough situations like this without breaking down into a big pile of wet tissues and bringing everyone else down with me.

Outlooks need to be positive. Lucky for me work is busy as hell and I have tons of schoolwork to help keep my mind elsewhere. And I have a huge support system to back me up (Paul - Thank you for the things you said last night and the things you promised to do if the need arises).

I doubt I'll be blogging much in the next week so everyone have a good holiday, stay safe and out of trouble. Also, if there is anyone you love or have anything special to say to them but haven't, please PLEASE tell them. Always make sure the people you care about know how you feel, don't assume they just know. Time is short and the future is unknown.

Support

2006-05-24T10:03:00.000-05:00

Last night I came home from work with a long list of things to do that have been put off before I could start studying. During all of this PE started calling me a bazillion times. The first few times I really wasn't able to answer the phone (teetering down the stairs with a 50lb load of his laundry while trying not to slip, fall and break my neck or carrying the clean basket up, putting them away, assembling a light fixture for upstairs, vaccuming up cat litter etc.) He didn't leave a msg until about the 5th call in. I finally called him back when I had a minute to see what the heck he wanted b/c if it was an emergency, msgs I expect would have been left and I would have immediaely called back. Nope, it was just b/c he was working late, just wanted to chat and since he couldn't get a hold of me the first 50X he got obsessed and kept calling & calling & calling. Annoying but at least he cares enough to annoy me ; )

So after I finally set his mind at ease that I'm not running around town with a secret lover and that I'm actually doing his laundry and cleaning up our slothy mess, we hang up. I'm about to hop in the shower to wash the day's grime off when the mother fing phone rings again. I almost picked it up and yelled"WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW!?" but for some odd reason my better judgement kicked in and I said through clenched teeth "hello" instead. It was best that I did b/c it was my mother-in-law on the other end.

She called to thank me for the lovely Mother's Day card I sent her. As we chatted she asked if I started class yet. So I told her all about it. She is a nurse (no longer a registered one but that doesn't make you not a nurse) so she can relate to a lot of what I had to say, what I will have to go thru and all the testing. Turns out that years ago she actually looked in to becoming a paramedic herself. But b/c of family and other commitments it just never came to fruition for her.

It felt really good to talk to someone who can relate to my experience and future ones to come. But what felt even better was that she told me that she thinks this is a good decision for me and she is in total support of it. That she commends me for actually taking initiative to get into the program and make a go of it. That meant a ton to me. Especially since I don't think my parent's have really come to terms with it yet. I don't think it's not that they don't want me to do it, just that they don't know much about it and are scared b/c there is a certain level of danger to it. Plus they haven't know about it as long as my MIL has too. But whatever their reasoning, I just haven't been given a whole hearted "good for you" yet only a "if it's what you want to do then ok. But what about nursing instead?"

Bottom line that is probably one of the best conversations I've had with my MIL. Then PE came home and I tossed the phone his way and locked myself in the bathroom!

EMT Tidbit of the Day: As an EMT we are never allowed to say or write the word "dead" ever. We can say "the patient has no pulse, the patient isn't breathing, the patient is decapitated" but never dead, deceased, kicked the bucket, nadda. We leave that to the Dr's.

Sooo how was school?

2006-05-23T10:34:00.000-05:00

Minus them spelling my name wrong on my CPR card:

it was great. (yes that is me editing it above in ink.)

They drilled it in to us to make sure we spelled our name clearly and correctly on the sheet for these damn cards. I did my part but they didn't. It's a little disappointing. The guy said no big deal, it's fine, just sign my name on the back and laminate the card. hmmphh. Fine. Then they pass the attendance sheet around and they spelled my last name wrong. Is my name THAT hard to spell??

Other then that I think I'll do well. It will be a lot of reading and memorization so I have a lot of work ahead of me in a short period of time.

Other highlight from the night, some dumb young girl kept talking while the Director of the program was giving her orientation to the class. The Director finally stopped, turned to the girl and told her to just shut up. Girl was shocked and almost looked offended but shut the f up for the rest of the night.

There are a few dumb people in this class that I know will not pass. There is a 30% fail rate on the National exam so given my class observation that would be about right. I will have to choose my partner carefully.

Oh yeah, I also had to order a stethoscope and a BP cuff. Talk about official. Guess who I'll be practicing on.

Ok busy busy busy, gotta run.

Guess What Today Is?

2006-05-22T09:07:00.000-05:00

It's

day.

I would also like to publically thank PE for not screaming at me & calling me nasty names for accidently taking his car keys to work with me. I know it took a lot of restraint from doing so. Thank you dear for not making me feel like a complete idiot asshole on my first day of school.

Oops...Someone Needs to call DCFS, Again

2006-05-19T09:53:00.000-05:00

This time in NY, she had a bottle of something in one hand, her kid in the other and tripped. The kids head snapped back and his hat flew off and his head (check our the guy's face behind her). "Immediately after the incident an agitated Spears said, 'This is why I need a gun,' seemingly referring to having to battle her way through the crowd. " Yeah b/c thats your problem, the crowds. And guns will fix everything for you.

It gets better though, earlier this week pictures show her driving in her Mini Cooper convertible with the Kfed offspring in his car seat facing the wrong way.

Now its debatable if this is wrong by state laws but looking past that why doesn't she even have a boppy around that kids neck? My neck hurts from just looking at it.

This chick is an idiot and I'm saddened to know she'll be sqeezing out another one soon. Imagine the photo ops then. A kid on each hip and her dropping both on their heads at the same time.

My question is, how did she manage to hide her complete white trashiness during her reign as Pop Princess? How did she manage to keep that bubbling below the surface and hidden from the public eye? Fools.

I think it's just a matter of time before this used up pop princess pops. It will either be her pistol whipping someone with that miracle gun of hers or a trip to the looney bin. "How come everyone hates me now?? I'm a good person REALLY!"

It Was A Good Night

2006-05-17T11:54:00.000-05:00

# # # # # #

Claude, from Ween, with his own band http://www.amandlanet.com/ and our friend Elise on tambourine. He asked for a volunteer to come up so I volunteered her. With about only 10 other people in the room, there was no way she could say no.

HAHA!

2006-05-11T21:05:00.000-05:00

Fired. That's what happens when you become so annoying & slothy that no one wants to work with you anymore. No more whistling, pervy stares & mouth breathing for any of us. I guess it had been in the works for a while to figure out how to clip him without getting sued. Turns out they gradually took him off accounts to the point where he wasn't on any. Reason for dismissal: Not enough billable hours. HAHA! Adios fat man.

* * * * * *

Continuing Reasons for Lateness:
(hope you've been taking notes)

1. Son was in an out of state ballet (yes, he's a tiny dancer) and they just got back in to town that morning.

2. Last minute opthamologist appt for an eye issue that apparently had been hurting for days yet I never witnessed any physical discomfort or heard any complaints.

3. Someone hit their garage door so day one was getting it closed. Day two was waiting for crew to come and fix it. Day three was saying crew didn't show up before so they are now.

4. More school board meetings running long.

5. Oops, forgot about this "probono" press ok that was in the morning.

Stop Bugging Me

2006-05-11T12:29:00.000-05:00

I admit it. Certain bugs skeeve me out. Most spiders don't bother me. Only ones that are of gargantuan size and extra hairy with fangs (i.e. tarantulas, or while we're at it scorpions too). Daddy Long Legs, harmless. Those little yellowish clear spiders that you see on your windshield sometimes, not a problem. Crickets or grasshoppers, nadda. Earwigs, ehh, I can manage but it's pushing my threshold. But anything that is long, snakey and has a thousand creepy, feathery legs with feely antennaes (or heck, roaches too), call the exterminator and 911 b/c I'll be passed out.

The thing about the leggers, what I'll refer to the centipede species here, is that they're not like a regular spider. Spiders are just out there, making their presence known. Either hanging out in a web or just out in the open wandering about. They don't hide. Scare factor is very low for me on these. Now leggers, on the other, ahem, leg, hide. They're under rocks, under railings where you go to grab and whoops gotcha yourself a little extra there, under or in shoes, behind garbage cans in the bathroom etc. They end up in places where you just don't expect to see something creepy crawly. My fav is the bathroom garabage can. You bend down, slide it out of the corner and SURPRISE!

Now the thing is, once leggers are revealed they boogey away from you. So for me when I come across one of these leggers, it's extremely difficult to seek and destroy. Upon first sight, I jump back, my heart practically stops, I'm frozen in fear, sometimes I start crying just a little bit, & every hair on my body is erect. I'm lucky if I recover in enough time to locate something thick enough to smash it with (b/c just a tissue ain't gonna cut it for these big, thick, cruchy, liquidy beasts). So far I've managed to successfully kill all I have seen. Probably b/c the fear of them getting away and living somewhere else and reproducing in my home outweighs my initial shock. Whatever it is, it is still very unpleasant for me.

For example, I had close encounters of the buggy kind earlier this week. To the right is the enemy of which I speak. I have finally confirmed what this mutant is. It is indeed part of the centipede family. It's clever name, House Centipede. They can be up to 2 inches long (I've seen it). The website I found this at says: "they feed on small insects, insect larvae, and on spiders. Thus they are beneficial, though most homeowners take a different point-of-view and consider them a nuisance. Technically, the house centipede could bite, but it is considered harmless to people." Beneficial????? Considering I don't mind spiders and other insects, NO. There is nothing beneficial about these. I hate this bug and they all must die.

I have seen this "beneficial" bug on several occasions in my life. The time before this week was back in my old apartment. I lived there 2 years before spotting one. It was in my overcrowded closet. I was home alone, I took action. The second siting PE was home. Here he got to witness a side of me he's never seen. Me quivering and crying curled up on the couch screaming for him to "find it find it don't let it get away b/c we'll have to move and if you don't produce a carcass I won't believe you!" Yeah, that was fun.

Fast forward to earlier this week. It's 10pm, PE is sound asleep snoring away on the couch (Cubs were losing), and I'm upstairs in our bedroom trying to get my shit together for the press ok I had early the next morn. I'm standing in front of my closet mulling over what I should wear when something caught my eye by my feet. I look down and there the legger was scurrying across my floor heading for my closet full of all the nice cavey dark shoes. I'm frozen with fear. There is no way PE will wake up and get up here in time to address this for me. I snap out of it act fast and grab the first shoe I could and WHAM! But since this is carpet (the worst substrate to mash a bug on) I had to push down and really squish him. Then I stood there looking at my shoe. It's one of my favorite ones dammit, which means I won't be wearing it for awhile now.

Post mortem, I had to work myself up to cleaning up the remains. Again, a simple tissue will not suffice for the magnitude of mess. I grabbed not 1, not 2 but 3 paper towels. I can not stand to feel anything of what I am picking up. Now I know this is bad but when I was done, I flushed it all down the toilet. The toilet struggled but it all went down. I just couldn't risk tossing it in the garbage can. I mean what if it can regenerate or it has eggs that could still hatch?! Nooo way.

So now I'm all like ok, it's just one bug in one year. It's over. Breathe. It's late, I have to get up super early so it's time for bed. But instead of turning out the light and just crashing on the bed my paranoid self must check the bed, you know, for bed bugs. I violently shake the blanket & pillows. Satisfied and convinced we are now bug free, I walk around to the side of the bed to put the pillows back on and BAM! There it is. Yet another one of these freakish monsters, bigger then the first, crawling up my bedside wall. If I had been laying on the bed and rolled over to the edge I would have been face to feeler with it. I grabbed the same shoe and it shared the same fate as the first. Into the toilet it went but this time, it didn't flush so well. Yup, I clogged it with all my sheets of paper towel. This, I left for PE to deal with in the morning.

Now I'm wide awake and have come to the conclusion I will not be sleeping in my comfy bed in my bedroom. I can't sleep on the couch b/c PE is on it. So I again shake my blanket but this time not only did I shake the pillows, I took the pillows out of the cases and investigated the insides just to be sure. I have no other choice of where to sleep so I carried them into the second bedroom. I figured it's an inside room with only a skylight waaaay up there so it HAS to be bug free. Or at least the least likely to have bugs. I set up camp in the middle of the floor (away from the walls b/c look what I just found on one), I grab my cat and leave the light on b/c if I feel something crawling on me I want to see what it is right away and not fuss with getting up to tturn the light on and chancing whatever it is getting away. Well I still couldn't sleep so I tried to exercise a little. That didn't work. Needless to say I never fell asleep that night. Where I did end up falling asleep was in the car driving up to Milwaukee in the morning. Figures.

The twist to this story is that for the last 2 days I have slept on my couch. Not to mention always wearing some sort of shoe, shaking out shoes, pillows, clothes, towels anything & everything. But I refuse to sleep in my bed. I'm not even sure when I will be able to again. I just can't take knowing that if I fall asleep one of these leggers could be crawling around, maybe making it's way up to my ear to nest, without me knowing it. I guess I just need a few bug free days to work myself back up to sleeping in that bed. It makes me angry though b/c why couldn't this have happened in the living room?? You know a place where you are normally awake, not unconscious and slumbering away. I could have handled that. Just not in my bedroom.

P.S. These are the ONLY bugs I have ever seen indoors in my city living years. Figures it's the only bug that I simply can not tolerate.

* * * * * *

Also, I am now CPR certified which means I am fully prepared to start my EMT classes at the end of the month. I also finally told my family my plans. I was given a bunch of blank stares and "why don't you just go in to nursing instead?" I think they were just blindsided. It went as I expected. Very uncomfortable.

Long Hair, Cute Boys

2006-05-08T10:18:00.000-05:00

Need I say more?

My adorably sweet, oldest nephew.

Uhm, yeah.

American Idol Vote

2006-05-03T12:37:00.000-05:00

Our friend Ira, the next American Idol Impersonator. Yes?

Why Do I Bother?

2006-05-02T12:58:00.000-05:00

I have been so swamped at work with being out of town for press oks, all my projects hitting at once and getting ready to cover 2 people while they are on vaca that I just don't have time or the energy to update anymore. Even when I do, I put myself to sleep just writing it.

I've covered work.

So that leaves:
The wedding I was to stand up in this August has been "postponed" due to "problems that need to be worked out first." Even though I'm out about $140 it still saves me money in the long run.

School starts in 3 weeks. They require you to have a white lab coat. I got it. I feel like saying "I'm not a doctor but I play one on tv" when I wear it. Funny how people's perception of you changes when you where one of those.

Went to my first Cubs game last night AND they won. A Sox fan, surprisingly, sent this to me
http://www.spankwad.com/northvssouth.html I'm sure you've all seen it but it's still worth a laugh.

This Thursday SuperSuckers play at the Abbey Pub.

I'm getting excited. Rescue Me, Deadwood & Entourage will be premiering soon.

My name is officially finally changed according to SS.

I finally got rid of the stupid personalized plates I paid extra for 8 years ago. I have no idea why I thought it was a good idea to get them in the first place but I've been too lazy all these years to get rid of them until now (name change forced me to go in to the DMV). Maybe now my car won't get hit as much. We'll see.

My condo building is redecorating the common areas. One thing they did was put in new tile. It looks nice but it is the slickest kind possible. No traction whatsoever. Smart, reaaal smart. We really need to start going to these association meetings.

One other thing about work, my agency is thinking about merging with another local agency, but my company said last week "don't believe the rumors about this merge thingy b/c it's just not true, period." Then yesterday the SunTimes printed a pretty scathing article about how it is in fact true that we are entertaining the idea. If that happens jobs will be lost due to "redundancy", others will jump ship and moral will go straight into the toilet. TR it's Lisa's agency if you hadn't heard.

Dear husband sent me this link http://messybeast.com/freak-face.htm Here's a sample of what you can find on it. I haven't looked at my cat the same way since.

Oh yeah - Curtains are still not installed. The tin foil is taunting me.

I Should Have Run Her Over

2006-04-18T09:46:00.000-05:00

I am forced to park on the street. A busy main street. Parking is at a premium so many times you have only 2 inches to manuever your car out of it's spot. So as you're wiggling out of your space, you also have to constantly look in your mirrors & over your shoulder to see if an oncoming car is going to clip you or if a cyclist is going to whizz past you at the exact second you gas it out of the spot. Not to mention all while staying conscious of not tapping the cars bookending you (which I gotta be honest, they get tapped. Ohhhh they get tapped.)

So this morning, I hop in my ride and reverse it to start the parallel parking dance. I back it up then look forward to turn my wheel & pull out. When I looked up there was this idiot girl blab blab blabbing on her celly as she stepped off the curb to stand directly in front of my car to look at traffic to cross the street. There wasn't any so instead of walking she just stood there yapping away. Now maybe if she was able to multitask, you know, talk and think at the same time, she might have noticed this big red loud crooked moving truck to the side of her was the reason there was an opening between cars to cross at.

Needless to say, I didn't have time to wait for her to chat away then saunter across the street in her velour sweatsuit. I had a choice. Pin her against the car in front of me or honk my loud ass horn in her ear. Well sad to say, I horned her. She jerked back and looked at the windshield. As I'm pointing at her and clearly mouthing "what the fuck are you doing lady," she shoots me a pathetic dirty look, trying to mask her guilt of being a complete moron, like I'm the asshole. Then she sauntered her velveteen ass back to the curb.

Dumb bitch.

Updates

2006-04-13T12:20:00.000-05:00

Yes - I've slacked off again. I can't help it. I've been swamped at work and have been out of town the last 2 weekends. It's not like I didn't warn you all a few posts ago, so shut it. A few things to note of late:

1. I finally bought and have in-hand curtains for the love room. Now it'll just be another year before we install them.

2. I've had a couple freak out moments about my upcoming EMT classes & future but I've gotten past it.

3. The company that my friend works at now that interviewed me like 10 times in the past and on the last try (where I spoke to everyone and their mom) swore I had the job but didn't, just sheepishly asked her if I would consider coming to work for them still. heh. NO.

and

4. I have to go back to Minnesota next week which forces me to miss my rockstar boyfriend, Mr. Rhett Miller (I saw him first bitches) who is playing in Chicago next Thur.

# # #

NOW - here are some pics from my out of state adventures.

The happy Virginia hostess & host. My fav shot of them.

Their favorite shot that they have a bazillion exact same pictures of. It's like color forms. Just swap out what they are wearing and voila! New same picture.

silly boys.

hot sexy bitches. At least just for this 1 shot. There was nothing sexy about the rest of the night. Does the game "Asshole" bring to mind any behavioral mishaps or regrets? I thought so.

My attempt at making a white russian without the cream. We used Reddiwhip. Hey, it worked. This would have been the best shot of the evening except that the one 2 down takes the cream.

She wanted it.

The best shot of the night award goes to Tequila Red and she wasn't even there. Notice the pointing finger. I had brought the wedding table pics and of course this one was pulled out and questioned yet again. "Do you know who it is?" "What is it of?" "Which side is up?" My answers: Hard to say, I'm not sure and I don't know. Except: Yes, I am and I do. You'd think I'd remember to pull this one out of rotation. (yes, that is a privacy bar. even though my family and people in VA have seen it doesn't mean everyone on the internet needs to.)

# # #

Now for WEEN IN ATLANTA (which that town sucks and I'll never go back. Here we thought the homeless in Chicago were bad. At least none of them in Chicago after having been refused a dollar, change, a cigarette, the very drink in hand, ever asked "well den can I at least have a sip off dat man?" Don't even get me started on the guy who dumped a glass of piss from the top of a parking garage on top of another random guy on the street who was so wigged out on mushrooms he just thought it was beer.)

Gener.

Acquaintance of ours that specifically pointed out the one area on his body that he was self conscious about that night (besides that shirt), that no one else would have paid any attention to if he didn't bring it up. The zit dead center on his neck. I'd blow it up for you but I don't want to throw up at work. Sidenote: this is the same guy who partied at our house last summer and laid his, uhm, manhood? on top of a slice of pizza and took a picture of it (not sure why so don't ask). My camera hasn't worked right since.

Left to right: zit guy, straight guy, married to the other girl in the pic, that was hit on all night by another guy at the concert but not yet out of the closet gay guy made up for it by buying us all free drinks most of the night probably to mask his true intentions of wanting to sneak off to the bathroom with married guy, PE (enough said), Me (I'm not even sharing), nice girl where this was her first Ween concert was so excited for it got so hammered at the show had to leave early before the encore which is when they played all the songs they both wanted to hear, and Mr. Shady 2 Step, I'm not sure b/c he masterfully disappeared & reappeared for most of the show.

Scary, I know. Don't ask. Bad things were done with this doll out in the suburbs of Atlanta.

There you have it. Now leave me alone.

Chicago Under Siege!

2006-04-06T12:41:00.000-05:00

This morning I thought the city was A) Under attack or B) Preparing for an attack b/c I had a pack of these hovering around outside my window. I think they showed up about 4:30 this morning and was the reason I started having a nightmare (b/c they annoy me so in real life I brought that annoyance into my dream as a different form). I dreamt PE got shot in the chest at my childhood home and I couldn't get an ambulance to come get him. The only way I could get him to a hospital was the UPS truck that stopped there to make a delivery. Nothing else worth noting in the dream b/c soon after the humming thumping noise pulled me out of my slumber. Three of these birds were just hovering in a perfect triangle outside our condo. It's like they were waiting for the sunrise along the skyline. I pulled the BInoculars out to see whats what. I didn't see any news channel info on them so I think they were private tour helicopters. When I went out on my deck to evil eye them, 2 of them after a minute took off. The third didn't budge. I went back in. 5 minutes later I went back out and the 2 had returned. Again, b/c I think they saw me, they flew off again. This game went on till about 7:30 this morning. These assholes, whoever they are, stole 3.5 hours of my sleep. I daydreamed about if I had a grenade launcher how it would feel to take them all out. Then to top it off, once they finally did leave and I had only a half hour to lay back down a damn diesel semi parked outside the White Hen and just sat there, running & grumbling away. No sleep for me. Do any of you know what these machines sound like, especially outside your house just lingering about? And how once you are conscious of the noise they make that it then becomes all you can focus on? Needless to say I was in a foul mood. It hasn't gotten any better b/c here at work, up the street they are reconstructing a building and all I hear all day long are those machines. I'm buying ear plugs. And for those of you thinking "hey why not just move to the suburbs?" Huh? What? I can't hear you.

Bubbly

2006-03-30T21:45:00.000-06:00

In honor of moving day and what Mr. Perv will no longer get to leer at, here is my last HNT post. This completes my promised set of 10 HNTs. Cheers!

Also, make sure to wish Miss Tequila Red a Happy 31st Birthday this Sunday! I will be in VA visiting friends so I'll be missing out on the festivities. Someone PLEASE make sure to have a camera handy though. She's been known to pose real purty for pictures after she's had a few (and you know what I'm talking about TR).

Rays of Light

2006-03-27T09:39:00.000-06:00

It appears that both my office mates are out this whole week. So I have that going for me. Plus I found out last week that I get to move out of this room and into a new one. I'll be moving in with only 1 other office mate that happens to be a woman a little older then me and I like her. Plus I'll have more space and won't freeze my ass off every day. I guess my new roomie whispered in the ears of people who make things happen that my current situation was driving me nuts and just wouldn't work out and someone should do something about it. The timing couldn't have been more perfect b/c I was going to ask my manger this week if I could request a move. So voila!

As of this Thursday I will no longer: have someone staring at my back, no more snorting, wheezing, coughing, whistling (thru both nose & mouth) over my shoulder (and let me just drive the point home that when I say whistling & snorting I mean it's ALL THE TIME), I won't have to listen to emails muttered aloud, or comments about how fast, "happy" & often I type, listen to volunteered boring or disgusting info about personal life or the status of family digestive tracts, I will be able to put the mirror back up that I took down b/c anywhere I placed it on my 1 alloted space of wall happened to line up so he could see me in it and wave at me (yes, wave), listen in on my phone calls while at times butting in to the conversation and derailing it (usually with a client), I won't have to navigate around attempts at trying to pry into my private goings on and I no longer will I have to hold my breath while using excessive amounts of scented hand sanitizer to cover up weird smells violating my personal space nor will I have to field comments about how strong smelling said hand sanitizer is. To you, annoying office mate, I bid you farewell and good riddance.

M.I.A.

2006-03-17T12:35:00.000-06:00

Not really doing a whole lot these days except:

I am officially registered for my EMT classes that start in May. I'll be very busy this summer. It's exciting. Lucky for me I got the approval (after I had already registered) from work to adjust my schedule to leave early so I can make it to these classes.

Laughed at someone with the name "Rock". Not to mention that they are partnered with a "Nick."

We locked ourselves out of the condo last Saturday. An ordeal that I never want to have to go thru again. Only funny part about it was when PE thought he could jimmy it open by using a credit card and when that didn't work thought he could bust it open with his foot nearly busting open his foot....twice. Peeing on myself in the mud in the bushes behind the garage wasn't exactly my idea of a banging Saturday night either.

I rode in a cab with this staring me in the face the whole way. Yes, it IS what you think it is.

Paul has pneumonia and wants to die.

Fat guy I share an office with let one rip the other day when he thought I wouldn't be coming back to my desk so quick and I wanted to die.

2 of my girlfriends are in love with 2 really great guys.

There is an antiwar protest somewhere in the Loop this weekend that I am considering going to.

And I learned my grandpa was caught in the hallway of his assisted living complex trying to, or maybe actually (I didn't dig too far for deets), getting it on with one of his neighbor hotties. My Dad was brought in and given a talking to about it. Grandpa can't remember to take a shower or who his son is but he remembers how to get his fuck on. Now that's what I call assisted living.

* * * * *

Due to the lack of comic relief my blog provides these days plus the upcoming work load I'll have in front of me, I probably won't be posting as much on here. Or maybe it's b/c I'll be setting up a MySpace page b/c apparently it's way cooler then Blogger. Whatever the reason I'll try to keep up as much as possible.

Oh yeah, Happy St. Patrick's Day!

P.S. TR, if you bust out that ginormous lepracon hat, again, I will be forced to steal it and burn it. Just saying is all.

EMT Humor

2006-03-10T12:38:00.000-06:00

In reference to filling out paperwork using slang and abbreviations to describe patients:

1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to shit), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."

4) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

5) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."

6) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen," nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge."

7) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).

* * * *

I register for summer classes next week. It's the first step to my new career.

A BIG thank you to Miss TR and Stacy for vouching about my character and only having to fib a little bit. I hope you know it means a lot to me and there is a reason I asked you both to do it. Over the years you both have been great friends to me and I truly value those friendships. I know I can trust you both and if there is anything I can ever do for either of you, all you need to do is ask. So thanks!

The Dumb Box

2006-03-08T09:56:00.000-06:00

New show premiered last night on ABC called "Sons and Daughters." It's actually worth watching. It's a Larry David with kids from "Curb Your Enthusiasm." There's plenty of extremely uncomfortable situations, loads of sarcasm and stuff you laugh at but know you really shouldn't be. This show def. deserves a repeat viewing.

Another new show airs tonight. I know I've said it before but this one really hits an ultimate low for reality tv. The show is "Black White." Trading races is how they oh so not cleverly describe it. They paint a white person black and a black person white, then I assume trade spouses. They see how far each can go posing as the opposite race in each family. I hate to say it but I have to watch at least 1 episode to see whats what.

UPDATE: Dr. Travis and School Teacher Sarah have split (from the last Bachelor). You can thank PE for sending me that update (don't deny it, you know you loved watching it PE.)

And American Idol - Kellie Pickler continues to squat on stage like she's taking a dump and earned extra dumb points for just being herself. When Simon called her a "minx" on stage she had to ask what that was then repeated it in a sentence but was still confused and used the word "mink" instead. "It's all good b/c Simon says I'm a mink!" America also learned she ate her first "salahmon." She must have dined at the same restaurant where she ate "calmahmari" for the first time last week. This karaoke billy mink needs to get clipped, sent back to whatever southern state she was born & bred in and stick to eating plain ol' grits. Girl is as dumb as a box of rocks.

Melmar Soprano

2006-03-07T10:14:00.000-06:00

This morning I had a dream that I was Meadow from the Sopranos. It was the middle of the night in the house I grew up at (not the show's house in Jersey). Tony came stumbling home. I didn't see him at first, I just heard him go into his bedroom to wake Carmela up. There was a lot of loud talking, banging and anxiety filled the air. I got out of my bed and walked down the hall to what was Tony's office. It's only illumination was from a street light shining thru the window. Tony wasn't in there but my eyes were drawn to his chair. There was a dark spot on it gleaming in the light. I realize it's blood and that Tony, my Dad, is either shot or stabbed. My stomach turns and the pulse in my neck throbs. Over my shoulder I hear him yell, "you have 2 minutes to grab anything you want then we HAVE TO GET THE HELL OUT." This means someone is coming to slaughter us.

I run down the stairs to the foyer frantically yelling I have to get my cat, help me find him I can't leave without my cat. I hear Tony yell back, "I don't care what you take but you have only 2 minutes to find him and then we're leaving." I then see him cross the hallway. I only see his profile as he switches rooms. He's wearing a button down shirt that is all wrinkled, untucked and dirty. I can tell his face is bruised, a little bloody and then I see the side of his rib cage is the source of all the blood in his chair upstairs.

I turn and run back upstairs, grabbed some sort of hamster travel case & put my hamster in it. Next to it was the cat carrier. I snatch that and run into the laundry room to find my cat sitting on a pile of landry. I try to grab him but he trots off before I get a hold of him. For a split second I thought I wouldn't be able to grab him and I'd have to leave him behind. But, he let me catch him and shove him in the carrier.

I look down at myself and realize that I'm barefoot in my PJs and the only things I grabbed were my hamster and cat. I panic. We're leaving the house and never coming back and I don't even have shoes on. I look over and see soem red flip flops. I slide them on. I don't hear anyone else in the house so I yell out how much time left do I have Dad?! I don't hear an answer so for some reason just assume I have time. I run back to my room grab a bag and just start shoving stuff in it from my dresser. Socks, bras, panties, more pjs, jeans, tshirts and a pair of gym shoes. I think I even grabbed my makeup bag and the hair dryer for some reason. I sling it over my shoulder pick up my pets and run to the garage. Tony, Carmela and AJ were waiting for me in a minivan. I guess I made it there just in time as they were about to leave without me.

Next I know we are at some place thats like a camp ground. It almost felt like this was a place that mafia people on the run hide out at for awhile to figure out their next move. There was a pool, it was warm out and people were just hanging around like it was a summer vacation. I walk over to the pool with my hamster & cat carriers. I think to myself I can't keep traveling with both pets, so I sort of just leave the hamster carrier by a family that had younger kids and seemed to be the most relaxed. I figured it would be a good home.

Next thing I know I have another pet. (this is gross) Its some sort of a worm and I'm carrying it in my mouth. Although it was shaped like an earthworm it wasn't one. It was a deep moss green 6" worm that when light hit it the skin kind of shimmered like a rainbow. I thought it was pretty. But again, I realize I can't keep it. So I find a nice patch of grass by a tree and let it slide out of my mouth to the ground. I get up and walk back to the car. Except the car isn't parked where it was originally. Its now in some parking garage next to this camp ground. I just start walking thru it, cat in hand, looking for our car. I find it but no one is in it. Oddly, I only worry a little about this. I assume they are off walking around the camp or it felt like there was a mall next to us so maybe they were shopping. It's only in the back of my head that I'm thinking well maybe they left me. So I just sit next to the car and wait for them to come back. End of dream.

Now the only thing I can think about after this dream is that if I was ever in a situation where I had a couple minutes to pack up some of my stuff, what would I really take? I know I'd still hunt for my cat but other then that, what? I'm also disappointed that this was all there was to this dream. Pets and packing. And why wasn't I more focused on the fact that my Dad was shot or stabbed and may die? Weird but then again you can't realluy explain dreams. But if you could I'd say it prob stems from the fact the season starts on Sunday.